this will seem funny later, I'm sure

I got my yearly benefits open enrollment package last week at school. My school district is changing to the state union benefits! The benefits I had when my braces journey first started in my first school district, the amazing benefits that would have paid for my surgery no questions asked.

Just a year too late. Argh. Instead, I have a 51,000 dollar bill still attached to my name.

burgerville

Not a lot to say, but I realized I hadn't posted this picture here on my blog! It's one of the best photos of me EVER. It's hilarious. This is my first time biting into a sandwich/hamburger! If you look closely, I've pretty much sat on it to flatten it out and I've taken out most of the toppings... but I did it! I bit into a burger. Ah, the taste of success.

oh yeah, insurance stuff

I'm once again in the middle of insurance chaos. I had to make a "small" payment (luckily I have extra money in my health FSA account) so I wouldn't be charged late fees or go into default, etc. I'm faxing in my pre-approval letter and all of the documentation on the case, my hearing, etc.

We'll see what happens! (I knew it was all too good to be true!)

owie

My jaw hurts. A lot. I'm back on ibuprofen. And tylenol. I've backed off the jaw exercises (ooh, up to 16 sticks now). I've backed off playing my clarinet and all other instruments. I'm wearing my rubber bands as much as physically possible. I'm not overdoing it chewing - I'm still taking it pretty easy. I'm getting headaches again, too - not migraines, but headaches nonetheless.

Ouch. When is it time to call my surgeon?

you'd think....

.... after all of this braces/dental/surgery MESS I'd be less afraid of the dentist and less disgusted by teeth.

But nope. Yuck.

part II... don't freak out [yet]

I got this in the mail on Friday. Yeah, it's a bill.

Back to my benefits coordinator on Monday!

part I... old photos

I'll do a better comparison once our old computer is up and running again (hopefully this month, but God only knows).

Here's the latest photo. Overall, I think this is my new face.

Here are some old photos I've copied off of facebook and the internet that I think emphasize my formerly long and narrow face, overbite, tall gummy smile, or lack of chin.

first real adjustment [day 92]

Yesterday's orthodontist appointment was... eventful. Which I am grateful for, because maybe this means I'll have less time in braces, but it meant taking another sick day today to sleep off the pain - it's really, really difficult to talk and eat. But like I said, no pain, no gain!

The downer? 8-9 months in braces left. It's quite odd, as I distinctly remember him giving me 2 and a half years in braces including surgery - but somewhere along the line I got in my head I would be in braces 6 months after surgery. Silly Stephanie, you've got a long time yet. On one hand, of course I'm disappointed. But on the other hand? I'd much rather them stay on longer and have better results than take them off too soon.

The work? Get this. I went in for a simple wire change - one of those 10 minute appointments where it takes longer for the tech to get the doctor over than for anything actually happening. He started poking around my mouth and calling out numbers to the tech, saying they had "changed their mind" and "oh, did I have time?" Of COURSE I have time! :) They removed and re-positioned 10-ish brackets, put bite turbos on the rear front two teeth, took off all that extra metal and extra hooks (YAHOO!!), took a set of x-rays, gave me new wires, and a new rubberband configuration.

Progress pictures are just the front of my teeth today as I can't open enough to get arch pictures. But most of the metal is off - wahoo! Other pictures? The picture of the day [day 92ish] of my face smiling, and then one not smiling - some of you commented that you couldn't see anything 'wrong' with my upper lip and nose, and I think it's much more visible when I'm not smiling. My lips don't touch, and my upper jaw/ upper lip sticks out weirdly.

And finally... my orthodontist took a front x-ray and it's pretty cool. I haven't had much luck wth getting these to post in the past, but here it is!

bummed [day 90]

I'm not sure what's gotten into me lately, but I've had a big case of the blues for the past 3 or 4 days. Everything is frustrating and I'm just not feeling well. When I went into surgery three months ago, I had no idea all of this would be lasting so long. What's wrong with me? Why am I healing so slowly?

I still have my sinus infection. I was off antibiotics for 2 days and it was back in full force. Dr. Lee says if it continues to see my primary care doctor and to have the doctor page her personally (I now have her office, cell phone, and pager numbers... what a cool surgeon).

I'm still frustrated with my looks. I don't like my upper lip and I really don't like what my nose looks like. I thought it would go down, but it's still upwards - now I can see into my nose in most pictures.

I'm getting lots of pain and popping and clicking in my jaw, and my jaw exercises are not doing anything anymore. I know I'm not quite doing them as much as I'm supposed to be (I should be doing 4 times a day, I do 2)... But they give me really bad headaches and I hate going to school with headaches. I do them when I get home from work and before bed.

I still feel like I don't have as much energy as I did pre-op. I went to an amazing indoor water park on Friday night and after a few hours of climbing up the stairs for the water slides my hip gave up on me... No more slides for Stephanie! And then at the fair the next day I was tired after just a few hours (I usually spend a whole day there), and then barely made it through the Oktoberfest party I went to that night - ended up stealing a chair from someone and just sitting for most of the night (looking at people's backs, as everyone was standing and facing away from me). After that weekend 'o' fun I could barely keep my eyes open during my planning period today.

I have an orthodontist appointment tomorrow. After my emergency appointment a few weeks back they stuck me in a new rubberband configuration to stop the over-correcting of my bite, but now the overbite is re-showing and my teeth barely hit my bumpers anymore. My back teeth don't even come close to touching.

Will these braces ever come off? :( Sorry to be such a downer, but MAN I've been taking this really rough lately. I just want to be back to normal.

questions [day 85]

Okay, fellow bloggers. I'm wondering if a few things are normal. Help me out.

1. Sensitivity to spices (especially cayenne), mint, and cinnamon. I can't even use listerene anymore because it causes the roof of my mouth to burn so badly!
2. Continued fairly major swelling - especially in my upper lip. I'm noticing that my upper lip seems so much smaller now since surgery - and it comes and goes, but today it's really gone.
3. Gum and teeth sensitivity in general - where I'm numb it doesn't bother me [of course] but pretty much everywhere in my mouth that's awake is pissed off. My gums ache after flossing, my teeth ache where the rubber bands are, my tongue burns, and my teeth are sensitive to hot and cold and sweet where they never have been before.
4. Molars not meeting. They're better on one side than the other, but in general my front teeth touch but my back ones don't.

I have really grubby teeth. I want to get my teeth cleaned REALLY terribly - what do you guys think? I'm still sitting at 15 popsicle sticks, so I can't get open very much. But I'd been almost a year without a cleaning prior to surgery because the dentist caused my migraines to go through the roof, and then the whole banded shut thing and, well, you know. I have fuzz. I brush 3 times a day but it comes back so quickly... It's gross.

bit of a scare... [day 78]

This post is dis-jointed and rambling. However, in my defense I'm still sick and exhausted from school starting. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Yesterday I had a bit of a scare, to put it lightly. The night before last I realized my upper and lower teeth in front were directly hitting - not hitting the pads or the brackets, but coming down right on top of each other. Since I'm not wearing my bands at night, I wondered if that could be contributing to my bad bite (and a side note before y'all get preachy on me: I called my orthodontist. Since my mouth is banded shut at night and my nose is completely clogged, I was suffocating - it felt like the week following surgery and it was terrible... so I called my orthodontist and they said to leave them off until I can breathe again). Anyway, instead of telling me it was okay or whatever they wanted me to come in to an emergency appointment to check it out. AHHH!!! I drove straight from work to my orthodontist office, about a 45 minute drive.

The bite is hopefully being corrected from the technical underbite (hah!) with some intense rubber bands in box configurations on both sides. My teeth, jaw, and head ACHE from them - for the first time in weeks I'm back on a regular regimen of tylenol AND ibuprofen, and I ended up just leaving them off for the hour after lunch so I could teach with a clear head. They are intense. Hopefully they'll work - I am dying to get rid of rubber bands in general. My teeth are really sore wherever the band connect to - in fact, in my newly-waking up left side on top I feel like I have a cavity. I think it's just intense pain from the rubber bands and the 'new' sensations up there.

Other things of note:

ROM: My opening hasn't improved any... still at 15 sticks. I'm pretty frustrated because now my rubber bands are even tighter, and it feels like progress is going slower. Argh.

Numbness: my chin is really coming back - still patches of numbness but those are tingling now. Upper gums still completely numb. Roof of the mouth tickles constantly, and I can feel it when things burn it now (yay?). Lower lip still a bit dull but I can feel all of it. Top lip and cheeks are completely back. It's been really fantastic. Minus my top gums, I wouldn't be too upset if NOTHING improved from here on out - and I know it will. I'm in good shape.

Swelling: While the sinus infection is getting better, my face is still swollen. Really swollen. It is worse in the early mornings and in the evenings. I have good days and bad days, and the good days are GOOD. I'm starting to like my face finally.

Pain: I don't have much pain anymore. Prior to the latest rubber band change and sinus infection, I can't remember the last time I took something. Amazing - as I could go through bottles and bottles of ibuprofen and tylenol prior to surgery.

Migraines: STILL NONE! Wahoo!! Life is so good. Kate, you asked a few posts ago if I was waiting in anticipation or feeling liberated? I feel so free and wonderful! For the first month or two I was just waiting - every morning I would wake up with the mandatory "okay, how bad is it today?" thoughts, and every morning I was headache free... Everything feels easier and happier and lighter and brighter... I can't even describe how amazing this change has been.

Clicking: I don't know if this is normal, but my jaw clicks. A lot. It clicked before surgery, but nothing like this. I'm hoping it will improve as my ROM improves.

Speech: I haven't really talked about this much lately, but my speech is still muddled, especially when I've talked a lot. If you listen closely I lisp on every 's' sound, and I struggle with 't' sounds and 'th' sounds. They come out slurred. 'F' sounds come out funny, but I think that's still my rubber bands. My 'r' sounds come out as 'w' when I'm tired. This is really frustrating to me, but hopefully it will improve. Guess it's time to pull out the tongue twisters?

Energy: Getting better all the time, but I'm not back to pre-surgery levels yet. I need much more sleep at night, and wear out easier during the day.

Hip: I almost don't notice my hip anymore. It still stretches when walking downhill which is uncomfortable, and I don't like to sleep on it. I hip-bumped my car door shut the other day and almost collapsed in surprise/pain, though, so it's still not completely healed. It's a wickedly cool scar.

I think that's it. I warned you guys it was a long post... :)

Sinus infection 1, day 72

I'm neck deep in my first sinus infection post surgery... my surgeon warned me they would probably be reoccuring this winter because of the movement of my upper jaw up into my sinus cavity or whatever... Ouch! It's still not very comfortable to sneeze or blow my nose (the pressure is freaky and I can feel the pressure expand in the front bones of my upper jaw behind my front teeth) and it's yucky. It's a really nasty one, too - I called my surgeon today but didn't get ahold of the office in time to get the prescription today. Hopefully tomorrow. I have no voice at all (great for being a teacher).

I don't know if I mentioned this, but it's weird - I have a "warning" button inside my body. For some reason, when I begin to overdo it, the bones behind my front teeth in my upper jaw start to throb. Once the throbbing starts, I have maybe a half hour to stop doing whatever I'm doing before the exhaustion becomes unbearable - however, this throbbing often starts during 5th period when I've got planning and time to breathe (and still have another period left, plus after school work). This week I ended up taking a nap at school because I was too tired to drive home. Whoa.

I'm freakishly puffy from the infection, exhausted beyond belief from school starting, and had my hair up in clips during school today so it looks funny now... but new pictures 'cause it's been a while. Freakisly puffy again, though. ARGH. And things were getting so cute. I look like a puffer fish.



Oh yeah!! 15 popsicle sticks now. Working on it, working on it, working on it, working on it. :)

oh. good. LORD (day 65)

Okay, thought I might be ready for teaching. Thought wrong. It's weird - when I get overtired my upper jaw from my sinuses into my teeth starts to ACHE. Unfortunately it starts to ache sometime in 4th period and I still have 2 classes to teach and my planning to get through.

Good grief, this is rough. Why is it taking me so long to freaking heal? Shouldn't this be stinking over by now?!? I'm frustrated, if you didn't get that.

And I'm over the attention, now. I'm over the comments and the discussions about my face. I know people mean well but most people don't know what to say so they say something half-awkward and half-insulting and I never know how to respond. Argh. And poor middle-schoolers have no tact. I sure love them, though. My kids are awesome.

Day 61

I got 13 popsicle sticks today! It's my new record - and once I get one more, I'll officially have doubled my ROM from the first day of physical therapy. However, I have a wretched headache today that just won't go away. With the years of taking ibuprofen and sodium naproxen and tylenol and muscle relaxants and other random painkillers for my jaw/headaches, I am really trying to detox and not take anything. I'll take something if it gets too bad (it's not a migraine), but I'd really rather not. These funny pictures are my physical therapy exercises - I look so funny :)

That's about it - I am less swollen today, so below are current pictures. Now that I'm getting more feeling/ control over my lips, here's a picture of my occlusion - beautiful, eh? You can also see the little 'bite pillows' on my lower front two teeth. These have really improved my quality of life. My teeth still haven't recovered from that damned mouthwash right after surgery - but they are slowly getting less brown. Once these braces are off my teeth I'm going straight to the dentist to get them bleached :)

back to the real world [day 60]

Life is slowly becoming normal around here. I still have a very narrow opening - I can stretch it up to 12 popsicle sticks now, but it hurts. A lot. I don't like it. My goal is to hit 13 tomorrow, as I've been able to get 12 in last night and today. I dread the popsicle sticks. DREAD. My jaw hurts all the time again now, and I get headaches - NOT migraines, just headaches - after I do my physical therapy stuff. Still no migraines.

I can chew soft things now, and am starting to chew things like bread - chewing is complicated by the lack of height in my bite right now - it's hard to maneuver food in there. Things are going slow and frustrating - I keep overdoing it with the hip without thinking about it - went clamming last weekend and the long walks on the beach REALLY strained it, and then I went to a swing dance last week and danced just a few songs. The swing dance wasn't fun at ALL - too many elbows and swinging arms. I kept picturing one flying into my face (and it's happened before!).

It was a really weird week, as I went back to school for staff days. With the drastic changes in my hair and losing the glasses AND the face, most people said they didn't recognize me at first and had to do a double take. One teacher I walked in with (talking to the whole way) didn't have a CLUE who I was until I took off my sunglasses in the building. It's really awkward, as after I tell them I had jaw surgery they don't really know what to say - I mean, I don't exactly know what I'D say in that position. I don't like the attention, though.

Feeling is coming back slowly but surely all over. Except for the point of my chin, I have no areas with COMPLETE numbness anymore. The newest weird thing is when I drink cold liquids I don't get the cold sensation on the inside of my lower lip, instead I feel it on the outside all down my chin - so I think I'm dripping down my face. I can't feel if food is stuck on my chin at all except in small places, which gets pretty embarrassing around people I'm not close with - I become paranoid with the napkins.

My swelling continues to hang around, and I don't feel like taking a picture today (I feel really swollen). Maybe if tomorrow's a better day I'll post one for you guys.

I know I'm in this for the long haul now and changes will be slow coming, but I'm starting to feel quite discouraged with progress lately. It's so annoying not to be able to open my mouth. It's annoying to not feel my face. It's annoying to have my jaw hurt. My speech is still a little unclear - and I start teaching on Wednesday of this week. Speaking for short bits in front of my staff this week was SO terrible - I feel like the louder I speak, the more slurred it becomes. And I've got big classes. I called the disability office (HAH!) in my school district and am working on getting some sort of wireless microphone system for the first few months, but they never sent me the paperwork - I'm calling again Monday morning because I'm really concerned.

I think I may have worked my last shift at Starbucks today, also - I am taking the first three weeks off of school already to prepare and heal and get some more energy back, but I need to come back that 4th week otherwise I'm separated from the company. And even though my energy levels are getting better and better still - I'm not even CLOSE to having EXTRA energy, and working Starbucks and teaching at the same time last year wore me out anyway. I love Starbucks, and it breaks my heart that I might have to leave. I know I can always come back, but I'll really miss my store family and I'm sad to miss the holiday season - it's by far my favorite during the year.

Whew, that was a long one. I'll see about posting more pictures soon.

Week 7 [okay, day 50]

I'm a day late, but it's been a big week for me. I finally did get the haircut and the contacts. I had a fantastic orthodonitst appointment today. I've been knitting up a storm and ignoring the fact that school starts in just two weeks from today. AND, I got a new car today!! (Well, not new - used. An '03 Kia Rio!)

My jaw hurts a lot now from those damned physical therapy exercises - I didn't even do them yesterday because it was bugging me so much. My jaw is also back to clicking and popping, which is a bummer - but still no migraines!! My physical therapy exercises right now are just putting my hands between my upper and lower jaw and forcing my jaw to open wider than it wants to - and hold it for 60 seconds at a time. Then I put pressure on my lower jaw and push it to the right (hold for 60 seconds, switch sides). I measure the progress in popsicle sticks, since a ruler isn't so accurate when done by myself. I range from 7-8 every morning to 10 at night now. I never keep the progress I make during the day, which is really frustrating! (The worst part? Once I can open my mouth wide enough I'm supposed to squish a squash/paddleball in half, stuff it between my teeth, and then release it to stretch the jaw out. OMG!!!)

My teeth still look awesome - so says the orthodontist. They are really pleased with my progress - I get shown off a lot whenever I go in. Today they didn't recognize me at first with the new hair and new face. They are allowing me to leave off the front rubber bands during the day - but I still have to wear the side ones at all times except for when eating. I get a new wire next time - and it's about time! I have annoying gaps forming in between my rear molars - which are really hard to get food out of because my mouth only opens 14mm!! OH! And you know how my teeth are hitting my brackets? It's apparently normal, but not as hard as I'm hitting them. So I have funny little cushions on my bottom brackets now until they can reposition them and put some "bite turbos" on (whatever they are) at my next appointment - Sept. 29th.

I'm chewing a bit. Not a lot. It feels WEIRD, and I don't like it.

I think that's it for week 7 - pictures!! (A disclaimer - I had just ridden in my Miata for the last time, with the top down, right before the day 50 pics... so my cute hair doesn't look so cute). Hah.

ouch! [day 46]

My bite is shifting like crazy. I'm telling myself not to panic. I noticed it a few days ago - maybe Thursday after my surgeon appointment. I noticed that I was REALLY biting down on my bottom braces with my front teeth and that my back teeth were open again - like they were a few weeks ago prior to getting the side rubber bands. It's just getting worse and worse.

It hurts quite a bit now. I'll call my orthodontist on Monday morning to get an appointment, but the feeling is coming into my upper teeth as well as my lower teeth now, so it's hardcore uncomfortable at all times, and hurts when my jaw goes to rest now.

Jaw exercises are going well, despite being terribly painful. I could only fit 7 huge popsicle sticks in my mouth on Thursday, and I'm already easily up to 10 as of tonight.

well, poop [day 44]

Today's appointment sucked a bit.

I don't get to take my front bands off - the orthodontist now controls rubber bands, and I don't see him until the 19th. I don't get to play any instrument (wind OR high string) for a MINIMUM of 6 more weeks. I don't get to chew. I got WICKEDLY PAINFUL physical therapy exercises. I'm apparently behind in the healing process - my opening is only 14mm (compared to 48/50mm pre-surgery). I don't have even enough of an opening to actually start said wickedly painful physical therapy exercises - I just have to stretch my jaw out for an hour a day. AN HOUR.

I mean, it was good to hear everything else is going well. I'm still swollen [it's not just me being crazy]. If I get a sinus infection I'm supposed to call her right away for antibiotics, apprently upper jaw surgery patients are pretty high-risk for infection for the year post surgery.

Energy! [Day 43]

I don't know what it was today, but I had a little ENERGY! Hurray! I woke up at a semi-decent hour (okay, 9:30am) for my eye exam, then took myself out to breakfast, went knitting for a few hours and finished my first hat, grocery shopped, got an oil change, and worked on cleaning my living room! Now it's 8pm and I'm not a big lump of Stephanie on the chair. I actually came home after knitting because I usually need rest time before doing evening errands or chores - but I didn't need it!

FanTAStic.

My mom and I were talking today about how obsessive I've become. Usually I don't have much of a one-track mind - I'm pretty scatterbrained. But lately, my thoughts revolve around one of a few things: FOOD, my FACE, and my CHAIR (being tired and waiting to go home to sit in it/ sleep in it). Mostly food.

The things I miss most:
- Straws (still pulling on the stitches - but the stitches are almost gone!)
- Bread / Crackers (oh my GOSH)
- Licking my lips
- Eating at will (not worrying about taking off bands, brushing, rinsing, etc)
- Chewing (of course)
- The letter "F" (not easy to say with these stupid bands)

Things I love:
- PUDDING!
- Greek yogurt and honey
- Fish and Chips

That's about it :) Great day today, finally! Tomorrow is the 6 week checkup with my surgeon.

6 weeks [day 42]

Nothing much is changing - and that includes the face overall and my energy levels. I could still sleep the day away if that were possible - luckily I've got Starbucks to go to and various errands to do with school getting ready to start in 3 weeks. I still spend a lot of time in my chair, knitting the day away and watching Greys Antomy or my random netflix movies. What's bugging me most about the face these days is the darned chubby cheeks! I've lost almost 20 pounds, but my face looks chubbier than ever. Also, the funny CHEESE!! smile is pretty annoying. Or funny, depending on how you look at it.

I have an appointment with my surgeon on Thursday, where she'll give me physical therapy-type exercises. I'm DYING (okay, slight exaggeration) for these front bands to be taken off - for freedom! When they're on I'm pretty much banded shut, just a bit more flexibility. It's a real pain to talk.

Pictures (no real change). I also put in a picture of that crazy clump of stitches that was underneath my nose/ upper lip - everything feels much better now that they're gone!