Wednesday, August 5, 2009

honesty time [day 36]

Okay, let's talk about my face. Today for some reason has been a freak-out day, and I'm not exactly sure why. I knew going into surgery that my face would change. I knew it would be shorter. I knew my chin would actually show.

But when I look in the mirror, I don't think I like what I see. When I look in the mirror all I see are those huge cheeks that are a little swollen but not much anymore. All I see is my chin that sticks out so far I think I'm Sarah Palin's stunt double. I feel like the lower half of my face sticks out a mile in front of the upper half.

Okay, that's over. On the schedule for next week: Haircut/ highlight and a makeover somewhere, plus I'm determined to go to the eye doctor and get contacts again. I hate glasses, and have hated glasses since I was 7 and had to get them... I wore contacts from my freshman year of high school all the way through college, but then my eyes began to get irritated just after graduation, so I stopped wearing them and have never had the discipline to start again. Hopefully all of that will help me accept the new face.

Sorry to freak any future jaw-surgery guys out, but that's just where I am right now.

before/ after


Alli Kat said...

I can't imagine anyone expects you to grow accustomed to (or like) your new face, at first. I mean, you had MAJOR surgery during which they broke your jaw and rearranged it! And in the end, the lack of physical pain was the reason for the surgery, right?

I think it'll take at least another month or two to get used to the new face. I bet the makeover will help. If nothing else, it'll help you see just how lovely your new face can be. I'm sure weeks of swelling and fatigue don't make anybody feel their best.

Anya said...

I think it's quite natural that you are having a freakout moment. Your face has changed in a big way. You are the one, who has studied your face into the tiniest detail. Now everything has changed and your mind has to adjust to the change.

I haven't had my surgery yet, but already I worry about what I am going to look like. Will it be better or worse? Or will I just look foreing to myself?

I like your new face, and I think you will too along the way. You just have to get used to it.

And at least you are not having as many migraines as you used to.

Rainne said...

Another thing to remember is that it can take up to a YEAR for all swelling to completely go away, especially in facial surgery. The swelling is still going to go down, I promise.

Avy said...

Dont worry - it is so normal to feel this way. I only had expansion surgery and I hated the way I looked afterwards. I couldnt see past the swelling and thought that I would look that way forever. But it does get better and I know that you cant see it yet but your face looks great and in a few months you will wonder what all this fuss was about :)

Melinda Renee said...

Dude- I still have freak out moments that my right knee has one less ligament than my left, okay? You are TOTALLY entitled to your freak-out moments! I think we should get you some sassy new glasses to go with your sassy new hair cut that Kim will give you. *grin* I can't wait to see what she does!!!

nabukay said...

i think the make over sounds really exciting. but i want you to promise me something: that you will be open minded and try to like your new face, besides its probably still changing anyway. hugs!

chris k said...

I've been contemplating the same things lately. But everyone's right. We're still swollen. And we're still used to our old self-image. My take on it is that through all my research, it's my opinion that NO ONE looks worse after surgery, only better. Yourself included :)