Saturday, August 8, 2009

day to day [day 39]

Today I'm having a better face day. I'm not sure why exactly it changes, but does day to day. Swelling goes up and down, my face breaks out and then gets better... Also, a big bunch of stitches fell out behind my upper lip underneath my nose - which were not only stiff and knotted and painful but also inhibited talking and smiling - and now my upper lip is flatter on my face. Dr. Lee mentioned using a special stitch on my upper lip to prevent it from shortening.

Other than my flippant self-image, the only thing I'm really struggling with now days is energy. I have figured out how to eat most of the foods I want to (I have conqured ground buffalo and gravy, turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes, a cinnabon cinnamon roll, a hamburger, big potato wedges, fish and chips among other things). It takes me upwards of 45 minutes to eat anything non-liquid, but it's totally worth it.

But the energy thing? I've worked two shifts at Starbucks and both have wiped me completly. I spent the last two days in my chair sleeping for most of the day. My kitchen was piled high with dishes and fruit flies and I didn't have the energy to do anything about it - luckily my mommy came over today and helped me clean it. The rest of the apartment is a mess as well, but at least it isn't rotting. I was hoping to go to a party of music teachers tonight but cleaning the kitchen has put me back into my chair. This is beyond frustrating, because just 6 weeks ago I was running 3-4 days a week and working out almost daily and teaching full time and playing gigs and working at Starbucks part time... and suddenly I have a good 2-4 hours of working time during a day and the rest is for reading and knitting - anything as long as I'm sitting. Just sitting. It's impossible to get my sleep schedule on track for school when I still need naps during the day.

The upside of all of this no-energy-not-really-digging-the-new-face trouble? I still haven't had another migraine!! 6 weeks and only ONE migraine!! I'm estatic. Excited beyond words. :)

Much love to you all - thanks for the support. It means the world to me.


Rainne said...

Yay for no migraines! I'm so happy for you!

As far as your low energy level, that's to be expected. Every time I've had surgery, it takes me longer to recover than I expected. Your body is still healing, and that's where your energy reserves are going. Hang in there...

Melissa M. said...

I'm so happy that you haven't had any major migraine trouble. I get headaches a lot too (though not nearly as severe as yours), and I'm hoping to be as lucky as you! Hope you start having more energy soon.

sjp said...

Steph, Great news about the lack of migraines! After following your blog for quite some time, it sounds like this surgery will be worth it for you. I'm sure your quality of life has already improved dramatically!

About self-image stuff... I can sympathize. Even though my friends, boyfriend, family, etc. tell me I look great, I still obsess over my new and ever-changing appearance and at times, i am not satisfied. It is so strange to look one way your whole life and have all of that so suddenly changed, even if some people comment that your looks have changed for the better. I hope you continue to find peace with your face! I have slowly arrived at acceptance of my new look, but am still waiting to catch a glimpse of myself and think I'm hot. Haha! Not sure if that day will ever come, but I think time will help us =)

holski said...

Hey Steph,

Sorry about my lack of commenting! Just wanted to mention I've been keeping up with your blog daily and I am so happy for you! You're through to the other side and you are looking fab. =) I know it's hard seeing a new face in the mirror, but I think your new look is amazing! Just wait til that bling comes off!!!!