Saturday, February 6, 2010

getting nervous

It's been about 7 months since my surgery now. Around the 3 month mark when I went back to school I had a lot of anxiety about my appearance and the new jaw/face/hair. But over the last 4 months, it's really subsided because everyone I know that lives around me has seen me in person.

But this next weekend, I go to my annual state music educators conference. I'm going to see dozens and dozens of people that knew me really well before the surgery but haven't seen me at all (or have just seen pictures) of me since then. It's pretty stupid, but I've pretty nervous about going - it's so awkward to see people I knew really well that just don't recognize me and then I have to talk about the surgery and re-introduce myself and they feel all embarrassed and weird and I feel embarrassed and weird...

Now, it's not like I look like a different person to me. But for some reason, about a quarter of people I know will just walk by me the first time they see me, smile like I look familiar, and keep walking. Or I'll talk to them "Hey, Chris! How's it going!" and I get that look like "I know you from somewhere... oh God! Stephanie!"

It's just weird. Weird, weird weird.

1 comment:

Makay said...

Ah. That is kinda awkward, but you know at least it was a change for the better instead of the worse. :) I hope you feel better and less anxious about meeting some pre-op friends. YOu will do fine. :) Thanks for the update.
love and support always, makay