Monday, July 21, 2008


After over 6 months in braces, I am still unsure of how to react to dreaded "braces comments." For instance, I was working at the 'bux a few days ago and some guy came up and in a big voice said "SOOOOOO... How're the BRACES?" And I just laughed nervously and said "fine." (He went on to tell me he had them for a long time, but still).

Or when one of my beloved, amazing coworkers asked me when I'd "have my smile back." It wasn't meant to be rude in any way, but come on! I realize my smile is marred by a pound of pokey steel.

I need to have a list made up in my head of comebacks, I think. I know someone out there has a witty response for "how are the braces doing" or "how are the teeth coming along" etc? I seem to get asked this weekly, at least, and I am always awkward in response.

PS. No posts lately because nothing is going on in my mouth. Lame-0.


Katherine said...

Why is it I'm such an evil person LOTS of comebacks are at tongue tip....but rather R rated? Clean but witty, Hmmmmmm......

I do feel your angst with this one and it totally depends on who's asking. I normally do the rude thing in my head (unless they're particulaly out of line, then it's GAME ON!), but just say it's "all good, thanks" or "it's an adventure, all right", nod & smile, then change the subject. I think some people feel they're being rude if they don't acknowledge that you've got metal in your mouth, but thy're just as confused as to how to bring it up.

Just for fun (and I'll think about it some more as they hit me) for OUR comeback pleasure:

How are the braces doing? :
-" I can only really speak for myself, let me ask them..."
-" Blingin', Baby!"
-" They ( *insert* suck, hurt, rock, are a mouthful of metal moron- what do YOU think?!)"
-" They've lost the will to live and I just DON'T know what to do...*sniff*"

How are the teeth coming along?:
-" That IS the question"
-" I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you"
-" How's Nutri-system coming along?"
-" *start humming the theme song to Mission Impossible* "


holski said...

Katherine, I love your responses! The NutriSystem one is a gem... hahaha. I don't have many people mention my braces really... maybe that is because I am a hermit and avoid face to face interaction. =) yup. probably the case.

Alli Kat said...

If it's an annoying customer or someone you don't want to really talk about it, just go into annoyingly precise detail and don't stop until they walk away, like,"Oh, you know, the fifth bracket from the left-you know the one that wss giving me so much trouble? WELL, it popped off my teeth the other day, and Nick says it was because I was eating too many carrots. Don't you hate it when carrots get stuck in your braces? I do? Oh but of course you don't have them, silly me!!! TEEHEE..." etc BARF.

Or you could go into the whole junior high drama, maybe pitting the top braces against the bottoms, ie, "Oh the top braces just got their dress for the junior prom and they WANT the bottom braces to ask them so badly! But the bottom braces are failing algebra and their parents said they couldn't go to the dance." OOh drama!

Anonymous said...

A few people I know keep asking - even after surgery- 'How are your teeth'? My stock answer is usually 'still attached, I hope'.

I find it's better than people wanting to tell me about when they had their wisdom teeth removed. That irritates the hell out of me, for some reason. :-)

nabukay said...

wow no exciting come backs from me i'm afraid. sometimes people ask me why i have them but that's about it i think. i think maybe if people try to make a wise crack i cut them short, i just don't entertain unneccesary comments.

laura said...

No one ever mentions them to me. I almost wish they would sometimes, if I'm having a self conscious moment, just to clear the air. Even when I first got them on, people would pretend not to notice them until I mentioned it.

Ok ... a girl I'd met once or twice a few years ago didn't recognize me and asked "have you always had the braces?"

Someone else said the same kind of thing near the beginning - "I thought I recognized you, but then the braces threw me off".

Like they're some kind of unchanging feature that people are born with. lol

Erik & Melinda said...

Hey Steph! I'm glad to have found your blog! I like the comments I read so far on witty comebacks...I wish to add to the list. Hmmm...(thinking, thinking)and as I'm thinking about the comebacks I suddenly got a horrible feeling that Erik or I said something callous and unfeeling when we last saw you in WA! =( If we did, I must apologize for our lameness!

So, when I read the first comment I thought - how could you go dirty in this route? And now...I get it. =) But, do you think it would be too dirty to say (in response to how're the braces coming?):
"faster than your mom last night?" I'm wincing inside, so I think that's probably too racy, and if you delete this comment b/c of it, I understand. =)

Shontelly said...

I'd say, "the same as they were the last time some asshole asked that question." =D ..and then smile and walk away..


Shontelly said...

..I know.. I'm evil..evil I tell ya!!

Chris K said...

"Oh the braces are fine but I've got this hemmorhoid that just won't quit!"