why I teach middle school

I LOVE middle schoolers. They say the funniest things.

This girl in one of my last classes at the end of a very long day says to me "So... Mrs. Sheppard" in a very serious voice.

"Yes?"

"Do you like Twilight?"

... pause... "Well, yes, I enjoyed the books. I read them. I didn't enjoy the first movie as much. Wait, why?"

"'Cause those things in your mouth make you look like a vampire."

(Cracking up inside) "Oh yeah, that's why I wear them."

Girl tilts head "REALLY!?!"

funny stuff

Part 1: You guys will like this story. I was checking out in Target tonight and I got the funniest cashier EVER. He rings up my purchases, asks me how I'm doing (the normal) I smiled at him and said "Oh, doing fine." He LIGHTS UP when he sees my braces and says "Whoa! Braces! How long do you have to wear those things?!" I'm a little bit thrown off now, and respond with "Oh, about 6 more months or so." "Whoa! Like, were your teeth like THIS?!?" And he literally puts his hands in an L shape - like my upper teeth were so crooked they were parallel with the floor (yes, floor). I said "Ummm, no, not quite that bad. But pretty crooked." He then goes on to tell me ALL ABOUT his wisdom teeth and how he wants braces... Seriously? Odd.

Part 2: I get hit on a LOT more now that I have a chin.

That's all.

so get this...

I was in the ER again last night around 11:30pm. The waiting room was empty but we waited for almost an hour before I got called into triage. You wouldn't believe the stupid guy I got to deal with. He asked about my migraines. He asked all the normal questions (is it a "normal" migraine, how long have you had it, what have you taken today, etc). We then got to the fact that it was my 3rd visit in 4 days and he was shocked. Okay, that's fine. Be shocked. But then he started asking questions about my jaw and the jaw surgery - and how exactly did I know the migraines were jaw related and not an aneurism or something?

I explained that when my jaw hurts, I get migraines. When I do things like play the clarinet and eat and chew and talk, it gets aggravated and turns into migraines. He asked if I had done any of those things today - I replied that yes, I had in fact played my clarinet, eaten, and talked today... to which he responded... "you need to take care of yourself. You can't do things like play the clarinet - after all, would you feel sorry for a lung cancer patient that smoked a pack of cigarettes before asking us to "fix her up?""

Umm.. excuse me, jerkface!?! And the worst part? It wasn't even my clarinet playing OR eating that gave me the migraine - it was the drive home in the dark with all of the headlights facing at me.

I'm still ticked beyond belief.

'tis the season

It's the season of performances for musicians and music teachers, so I'll admit to being a blogging slacker - but I have a good reason. I performed or conducted seven times last week PLUS I'm dealing with the car wreck, continued jaw pain, and a huge cold. But now I'm only three and a half days away from winter vacation, so things are looking lovely.

I'm fine from the car wreck, I've just got nasty little whiplash in my neck. My jaw did not take to a car wreck lightly, but the stronger muscle relaxant for my neck has made it manageable.

Odd braces story (which we all love).... I was working at the 'bux last week, helping customers and putting away the order when a lady came up to me and asked for help. She was deaf, but could read lips: however, she could NOT read mine for some reason - after about three solid minutes of trying to explain that she needed a gift receipt for any returns with no luck I got my manager - it took Jen less than 30 seconds and all was well. I can't figure it out except for that I stretch my lips over my braces when I talk, and it must have muddled my "speech."

Weird, huh?

short quip

True story: Dancing in San Francisco last weekend, I ran into someone I had met in the summer of 2005 dancing in California. The first thing she says to me when she realizes it's me? "Ohh, you didn't have braces then!" like they were a permanent fixture on my teeth.

No kidding, super sleuth.

comments

After over 6 months in braces, I am still unsure of how to react to dreaded "braces comments." For instance, I was working at the 'bux a few days ago and some guy came up and in a big voice said "SOOOOOO... How're the BRACES?" And I just laughed nervously and said "fine." (He went on to tell me he had them for a long time, but still).

Or when one of my beloved, amazing coworkers asked me when I'd "have my smile back." It wasn't meant to be rude in any way, but come on! I realize my smile is marred by a pound of pokey steel.

I need to have a list made up in my head of comebacks, I think. I know someone out there has a witty response for "how are the braces doing" or "how are the teeth coming along" etc? I seem to get asked this weekly, at least, and I am always awkward in response.

PS. No posts lately because nothing is going on in my mouth. Lame-0.

no kidding....

I had someone ask me how I expected my middle school students to take me seriously while I had braces on.

Oh, but when confronted that I found her comment to be rude, she said "she didn't mean any harm by it, she was just curious."

Am I a magnet to stupidity? Really?

on and on

It is the end of the school year. In the past week and a half, my choirs (or portions of my choirs) have performed 5 times. Those performances and extra rehearsals, plus a concert of my own on my clarinet, plus a field trip across the state, plus progress reports and may-fails being due, PLUS a cold from hell that continues and continues = Stephanie is unable to blog sometimes. (That's my 7th and 8th grade choirs performing in Leavenworth, WA). They're quite adorable, eh?

The gums are the same. In fact, the gums are worse but I'm ignoring it because that's what the orthodontist told me to do (if you look to the picture on the left, they are my teeth on the top, just to the left of the two front teeth). The gum actually touches metal, where the bracket is connected to my tooth. I have tried everything. Brushing softer, brushing harder, swishing with salt water, using the flouride rinse they gave me, brushing more often, brushing less often.... It seems that the gums want to be swollen, no matter what I try. I just do my best to keep food out of there (which is actually pretty difficult).

The bite, however, is worse than ever. There are days (like today) where only the outsides of a few teeth touch. My lips keep getting trapped in the great void of my overbite, and my braces chop them to bits. Check out this overbite!! While my bite has always been "open," I didn't really have an overbite until just a few weeks ago. It's coming out with a vengence! Lovely.

My arches are really starting to shape up, though, especially on the lower half. My gaps are still pretty wide where the teeth were originally extracted, but they are continually getting smaller as my palate gets wider. I can't believe how rounded and lovely those teeth look - especially those front teeth, which are now pretty much completly straight. Yipee!!

The top teeth and top arch aren't doing too much yet. I can tell the arch has started to grow, and my teeth are looking a little straighter. But really, it's only been 5 or 6 weeks since I got my top braces, so I can't complain too much - especially with the progress of the lowers, which were SO MUCH WORSE. (sorry for the blurry picture... I seem to be unable to take a decent picture of my uppers. I don't know why).

Finally, I have one more picture to show you. I want the world to know that this face does NOT look like a middle schooler. I took a choir to a MS/JH choral contest over the weekend before last, and I had a lady come up and ask me where my director was. I am an adult. And yes, I have braces. And yeah, I'm a young-ish teacher. But in no way, shape, or form do I look between the ages of 12 and 14. Thank you.

Hope you are all doing well!!

starbucks guy, I loathe you

Forgot to mention this in the blog yesterday due to the wire-clipping excitement. You guys will understand.

So I walked into the Starbucks by my school this past Monday, like I always do. I'm an addict, err, a regular, so they all know my name, my drink, etc. There was a new guy that I had seen only once the week before, and as I came up the register he said (loudly) "Hey, Stephanie!" and I was surprised he had remembered my name so fast - go new barista guy!

He should have stopped while he was ahead - because he continued by saying "Hey, Stephanie! Guess how I remembered your name?" I know that all of you see this coming, but in my befuddled, pre-coffee stupor I said crankily "I don't know, how?" and he said (loudly still) "The braces! You're the only adult I've ever seen in braces!"

Thanks, Captain Obvious. Because had you failed to point out the masses of metal sticking out of my face, I might have forgotten they were there.

Blegh.