steph's jaw surgery blog

updates

2011-12-22T09:57:00.000-08:00

Most of the questions I get lately have to do with numbness, my face, and retainers. So, here's the lowdown.

Numbness: Now, don't be scared by this answer. I know there are MANY bloggers out there who are freaked out by numbness and end up getting more surgeries to help with the numbness and all of that. I'm not one of them. I am still [and likely always will be] fairly numb. Here's a map in paint, I tried to type on the picture but it was being too annoying so I'll explain it here.

The white circles (on the sides of my top lip) have probably 80-90% feeling. I don't notice that these are numb unless I pull on them or tweak them.

The Yellow circles down the sides of my bottom lips are a bit stronger. This is the only section of numbness that I can feel on a day-to-day basis (it feels a little tingly every once in a while, but mostly just stiff). I have probably 40% feeling there.

The blue circles are the sides of my chin. I probably have 60% feeling there - and I don't notice it at all (however, every once in a while a sneaky piece of food lands there and I don't notice, hahahah).

The red circle on the point of my chin is almost completely numb. If I poke into it hard with my nail, I feel something. I was warned that with the genioplasty I'd likely lose most feeling there, and they were correct. It doesn't bother me at all, except, like above, every once in a while a sneaky piece of food lands there and hilarity breaks loose. Always a good story.

Now... retainers. I was wearing my splint every night up until about 3 months ago. I find that after wearing it for more than 2 nights I un-bite from it and only keep my mouth halfway in. I was seeing my top tooth get a little crooked and I freaked out, so I started wearing my invisalign-type retainers every other night. I love having nights I don't sleep in the splint, and I don't get headaches in the least. Now, sometimes my jaw for whatever reason is sore (too many mike and ikes, stressful day, whatever) and then I'll wear the splint more often. I can go about 2 nights straight in the invisilign before my jaw starts to feel it in the morning.

I was supposed to, at this point a year and a half out, be able to wear my retainer every other night - but every night my teeth sting a bit getting into the retainer. I'm too afraid to leave it out for a night, and that's fine with me. Apparently my teeth have stronger memories than most. I do need to see the orthodontist soon to ask about that.

Well... those are my updates. Life is good - I realized the other day that FINALLY, over 2 years out of jaw surgery, I would do it again if I had to. I am so glad I did it.

Finally, my face. I love my face now. I love my nose, I love my face, I love everything about it. I look at old pictures and can't EVEN remember why I would have liked that face over this one... but, I did. It took a long, long time. Now when I look in the mirror this face is what I'm used to seeing - and it's awesome!

cleaning

2011-12-22T09:51:00.001-08:00

I finally got up the gumption to get in for a cleaning. Surprisingly, after a year and a half things looked pretty good. She wants me to focus on cleaning heavily around my built-in retainer along the bottom, but everything else is fine.

They have to do a crown on one of my teeth in February. I was so hopped up on the anti-anxiety medications I'm not clear on why or what other work they're doing (for 1,400 dollars... oye bye savings!), so I'm going to call in January to clarify (the offices are pretty much closed until the 3rd).

The anti-anxiety medications they gave me REALLY helped. I wasn't nervous at all, but I also don't remember anything at all... including the errands that my friend [who was driving me around] did, the lunch we went out to, the 5 hour nap I took when I finally got home... yikes. I do remember accidentally scaring my technician, who's having lower jaw surgery soon. I'm not sure what I said, but she said she was more nervous than before. Oops!

They're giving me something a little stronger for the next appointment, because they need me to be slightly sedated for the crown work.

orthodontist appointment

2011-07-02T19:35:00.001-07:00

It turns out, I missed my last orthodontist appointment! I was supposed to go in sometime in May for a splint and bite and teeth alignment check - totally slipped my mind. I will call next week to get in.

In other news, I need my teeth cleaned/checked out by a dentist soon. I'm still having residual teeth pain on my left side and it's gone on long enough now that I'm not sure it IS nerve damage, maybe it's a cavity or something? My teeth still feel very funny - sometimes they vibrate, sometimes they hurt suddenly and then stop, sometimes I can't really feel them when I chew (feels like chewing on wood).

The problem? Not insurance, as I'm lucky enough to have good dental insurance. It's dumb fear. I am so completely and totally afraid of the dentist that every time I pull their phone number up in speed dial I can't breathe. I'm not exactly sure what to do... I might just bite the bullet (ahaha!) and call and ask them what they think. Maybe they can knock me out for my cleaning? All I know is, it's been 15 months since I've had a cleaning, and that's just not okay.

clarinet playing

2011-04-19T22:11:00.000-07:00

In the year and a half after surgery, playing the clarinet still hurt my jaw. If I'd play for a few hours or more - or many days during a week, I would get a lot of tightness and pain and headaches. I had to watch what I chewed at meals on days I knew I would be playing a lot.

Finally - edging on 2 years post-op, I can play with no restrictions. I'm in two pit orchestras right now and last week played 3+ hours a day PLUS what I do in my band classes and no jaw pain to speak of. Finally! Such good news, as clarinet is such a huge part of my life that I've had to essentially give up (or suffer through) over the past 4 years.

I'm back! And, my tone and intonation has improved and my high range playing (altissimo from high c to double high c, for you clarinet players) is GREATLY more in tune and much more reliable than before.

The good news just keeps on rolling...

x-rays

2011-03-24T16:06:00.001-07:00

I've received something like 4 emails in the past few months about x-rays, and so I'm getting off my lazy butt and uploading them. Here they are! Enjoy, and I hope you're doing well out there! Email me or facebook message me with questions if you have them, or leave a comment.

Before braces at my initial exam appointment: (If you notice, my overbite was NOT apparent at this first inital appointment - my teeth were so severely crowded that it didn't look like I had an overbite - weird, huh?)

During braces, right before jaw surgery:

After jaw surgery and braces removed:

splint: final take

2011-02-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

I love my splint. It took months to be comfortable in it, and it still has problems, but it has changed my life dramatically. I have almost no jaw pain now. My range of motion is completely normal (no, not what it used to be, but completely normal).

I've been jealous for a year that so many people "forget" they had jaw surgery and move on with their lives - my painful jaw, small range of motion, constantly shifting bite, slight headaches and sore teeth were a constant reminder of the surgery I had in July of '09.

Now, there are days and days that I don't even think about the fact that I had jaw surgery. I can yawn without any pain (in fact, it feels good!), I can bite into anything I want to (though I still don't bite into anything hard, just force of habit), I wake up and my jaw is in the right place and stays there - little to no shifting. I can move my lower jaw side to side and forward/back (not as much as before, but enough to shift food around in my mouth and I don't notice the difference). I can play the clarinet for a good amount of time before I feel pressure in my joints (although, that's always been there). My flute playing is improving. I've had a total of around 5 migraines in 19 months.

I've been struggling on and off with a cold the past week or so, which makes wearing the splint difficult (since my splint is my retainer connected together, I usually need to breathe through my nose - it's difficult to breathe through my mouth) - at one point last week I spit it out in my sleep for the first time in a long time. I woke up with a dull headache and achy jaw! I even wear it when I take naps, not because I have to but because it makes it so much more comfortable.

I love my splint. It's a wee bit smelly and hard to take care of, but it's amazing. Love it, love it, LOVE it.

So finally... 19 months post surgery, I consider myself back to normal in range of motion, pain, and jaw mobility. My chin and face are still a bit numb, but it doesn't bother me in the least. I'm very pleased with my results - and very glad I went through all of that awful-ness that was jaw surgery and recovery.

range of motion and numbness changing

2010-12-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

I have good news! In the past week I've noticed my range of motion improving greatly. I can fit 3 fingers in now - and fairly easily, though no room to spare. I haven't been doing any exercises or stretching, just living life normally - how awesome is that?

Another thing is that my numbness has been changing - I'm not sure if it's getting better yet but it's definitely starting that waxy-bugs-me-when-my-coat-brushes-against-it feeling again. Usually it results in a little more feeling. However, the numbness doesn't bug me at all - in fact, when I'm bored in meetings it's fun to play with "Hey! I can feel that... wait, nope... Hey!... nope"

Hope you are all well out there in ortho-blogging land!

orthodontist appointment

2010-11-21T20:53:00.000-08:00

I had my first splint check-up appointment at Dr. Molen's office. He really likes how everything is looking. He shaved a few teeth, working on getting my bite to lock into place - because I had two teeth removed on the bottom he says the teeth don't line up perfectly - but that it was completely necessary to remove them for my jaw health.

Another piece of interesting information - the splint isn't for retaining my bite. He says he's not worried about the bite retaining itself or relapsing. The splint is to relieve pressure in my TMJs to stop the pain I've been having. Sure enough, it's worked! I have very little to no jaw pain anymore, and my range of motion has even improved to 2 and a half fingers!

I'm going back in May for another checkup... maybe that will be my last one?

splint: take three

2010-10-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to have an orthodontist appointment today, but I am far too sick to venture out to Auburn so I postponed it a few weeks. I am ready to see him, as I'm still a bit concerned about my bite.

My jaw hurts much less - I have very few spasms of pain anymore like I was having. It still hurts to open wide (and I'm still at just barely over 2 fingers) and if I play the clarinet for longer than an hour or two it gets pretty sore. The worry is that my bite rarely lines up. I'm often bumping front teeth and I can't pull my lower jaw back without TERRIBLE pain. The bite wanders around all the time, though - it's very inconsistent.

Attached are pictures I took this evening of the splint and it in - keep in mind that I'm super-duper sick and look a bit freaky. Ah, well.

splint: take two

2010-08-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

The splint is improving. I played clarinet for a long while today (after taking the summer off hoping to help with jaw pain) and my jaw was quite sore and my head was throbbing - the instant I put the splint in at home my headache lessened.

I still don't like sleeping in it, but I don't wake up on the hour anymore. I do wake up more often because I feel like I'm choking - I'm still a mouth-breather about half the time and I've got wicked allergies right now - but I am able to go right back to sleep. I don't spit it out anymore, and my teeth don't ache when I wear it.

Until tonight, I haven't noticed a large difference in my jaw pain. Tonight I'm feeling quite a bit better with it in. My bite is very confused in the morning, but seems to settle an hour or so after I take it out. When I first remove it my front teeth bump like mad, but by breakfast I have a normal bite again - and the overbite hasn't made an appearance since the first few days with it in. My ROM is still the same - two fingers with some slight wiggle room.

I'm still not overly enthused about it - I'm not sure it's doing all the good it was supposed to. It's also giant and looks quite humorous in - I look like a linebacker. I'll post a picture as soon as I remember.

splint: first impression

2010-08-25T21:19:00.001-07:00

I hate the splint. I absolutely can NOT stand it. I feel like I'm suffocating with it in, because it forces my jaw closed at night. It's huge - I look like a football player. It's my retainer as well, now, and my teeth HURT like crazy - it's weird. Most likely because I'm trying to work my way out of the splint at night and it's hard to get my teeth in and out. I have to wear my clear retainers during the day for a few hours because I'm not getting my 8 hours in due to spitting it out so often (which is really difficult to remove, I'm not sure how I'm getting out of it!)

My lower jaw is pulled quite a bit forward to get it in the splint - so when I take it out my jaw is confused about where to sit. This morning my front teeth were bumping like mad, during lunch today I saw a legitimate large overbite, which scares the crap out of me.

I have a headache, I'm exhausted from waking up every hour or so either suffocating, searching for it because I've managed to spit it out, or from my teeth and jaw hurting.

I'm going to give it the 10 days he asked - it's a new thing, and my jaw doesn't like new things. I want this to work - I want the rest of my jaw pain to go away and I want my range of motion to improve and I want to eat normally - but this sucks.

Boo. I had high hopes for this splint.

splint and new retainers!

2010-08-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

I got two sets of molds taken at the orthodontist today - one for a Damon Splint, which will work like a retainer and a splint at the same time, hoping to relax my jaw at night (or whenever I need it) and get rid of the last of this jaw pain. I get that on August 23rd. The other molds were for new clear plastic retainers since I have the new tooth. They're so nice and clear and shiny!

I truly hope that's the last set of molds I ever have to take. Ugh, they gross me out. I'm also ready to be done visiting my orthodontist... as much as I adore him and his entire staff, I'm ready to move on with my life.

FAQs

2010-08-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

I get a few questions quite often, so I decided to link some of my more "eventful" entries down the side of my page, but also wanted to answer a few questions here. If you have more, I'm happy to answer them.

What kind of surgery did you have? I had upper and lower jaw surgery plus surgery to extend my chin (genioplasty). My upper jaw was shortened, moved forward, and leveled out. My lower jaw was moved forwards. I also had a bone graft from my right hip to reinforce my upper jaw.

How long did it take you to recover? I still feel like I'm recovering a bit over a year out of surgery, but for the most part I was feeling much better after 6 weeks. I went back to work at my part-time job, Starbucks, at 5 weeks and while it was fine, I was really tired. If I worked an office job or any job with less talking/standing/moving, it would have been easier. I started teaching full time around 8 weeks after surgery, and that was also a bit difficult in regards to getting enough food and having enough energy.

Were you numb after surgery? Do you still have any lasting numbness? Yep. I was completely numb after surgery (Pretty much no feeling from my eyeballs downward, except for a few patches). Over the past year, much of the feeling has returned, but I am left with numbness in my chin, upper lip, and some areas of my teeth and gums. None of it bothers me, except for when the nerves work overtime in my chin - then it kind of itches and drives me nuts - but that means it's healing!

How did you get your insurance to pay for surgery? If you look back from September 2009 to May 2010, you'll find all of my insurance trouble. My insurance company had a orthognathic surgery exclusion - no matter what, medically necessary or not, they would not cover the surgery. I was lucky enough to be able to appeal to my school district with letters from my surgeon, orthodontist, and myself, plus my migraine diary and ER reports, plus X-rays and diagnosis from my surgeon. They ended up paying for it in full.

Are you happy with your results? Overall, yes. Prior to surgery I was suffering from almost daily migraines, constant headaches, and terrible jaw pain. Since July 1, 2009 I've had 2 migraine headaches - 1 just days after surgery from a major muscle spasm, the other just a few months ago. Both went away with medication and sleep, rather than hanging on for weeks at a time.

I still struggle with some aspects of my jaw - for instance, my range of motion/ jaw opening is now stuck at 40mm - when prior to surgery it was almost 60mm. It is very difficult and painful for me to hold my jaw open for long periods of time (think dentist or orthodontist). I can't eat a lot of very hard or sticky foods. I am pretty much unable to move my jaw from side to side or forward/backwards - which may or may not improve.

Looks wise, I am also happy with my results. It's taken a long time to get used to my new face - and while I still look like "me" I'm quite different. By shortening my midface around 10mm everything from the position of my ears to my nose to my cheekbones and eye sockets changed. It's pretty drastic. It took months and months for me to get used to the new face, but now I love it.

What kind of braces did you have? How long were you in braces? I was in braced in Damon (self-litigating) braces for around 2.5 years. This time, anyway. When I was younger, I had conventional braces and headgear twice, trying to correct my overbite and crowded teeth.

How are you retained? I have clear plastic retainers that look like Invisalign. In a few weeks I'll be getting a Damon Splint to help relax my jaw and hold my teeth at the same time.

Did you use Zip 'n' Squeeze bags or the Cool Jaw Wrap? No, I didn't use the ZnS bags or their wrap - I was fortunate enough to order from them when they were still a functioning company, but I despised the ZnS bags - I ordered around 20 and only used 1 (but they have already been given to another lucky jaw surgery patient months ago). I was much happier with toddler sippy cups and the large gauge syringes from my surgeon. As for the jaw bra, I bought a jaw hot and cold wrap but the hospital ones were much more effective - and they gave me 3 or 4.

Were you banded or wired shut? I was banded shut for the first week, and then could take off the bands for a few hours a day to eat and brush. I was then on a mush diet for the next 7 weeks - anything I could swallow whole or mush with my tongue was fair game.

What did you eat? You'd be surprised what you can eat despite not being able to chew. The first week, being banded shut, I was stuck with broth-based or cream-based soups with no chunks, juices, muscle milk, Isopure (fruit flavored, clear protein drink - great for the first few no-particle days), and Gatorade. After that first week, almost anything is possible with a blender and some sort of liquid - chicken broth, milk, or juice. If you crave it, go for it! :) I went for pizza at one point, and it was pretty awesome. Everything does look a little like cat food, though...

You're a musician. How did this process get in the way of playing wind instruments? I'm a clarinet player. Braces alone were pretty wretched for clarinet playing - I had to re-learn to play as my teeth moved and straightened. Once jaw surgery happened, I was unable to play any wind or high string instrument for 3 months - and this was pushing it, per my surgeon. If I didn't teach beginning band and orchestra I think she would have had me wait longer. My embouchure was radically changed, and I had to re-learn to play. Everything from the angle of my horn to how my corners sealed to how my tongue is placed in my mouth changed - and it was pretty difficult and frustrating. I ended up taking a few lessons which really helped me. Now, a year later, I play more in tune with a better sound and have a better range - so it's worth it in the end.

What was the bone graft like? I think the bone graft was the worst part of the surgery. It made walking really difficult, made wearing stiff pants difficult, made showering difficult... pretty much awful. It was far more painful than my jaw, possibly because of the cut nerves.

How long did you have to wait to exercise after surgery? Because I had a bone graft out of my hip, I had to wait a few months to start running again. I was supposed to be walking right out of surgery (the next day), and was encouraged to exercise/walk as I saw fit, as long as I wasn't in pain or overdoing it. I also had weight-lifting restrictions for the first 6 weeks.

Did you have problems breathing after surgery? Yep, had breathing problems. My swelling was pretty darn intense which closed one of my nostrils and my nose was clogged from the, well, blood and stuff. Things that helped: Steamy showers (I just sat in the bathroom with the doors closed and heat on since showering was difficult after the bone graft). Humidifier - heck yes, get one. When it was off, I was much more congested. Q-tips soaked in hydrogen peroxide: Gross, but very helpful in removing debris. Afrin: Now, it says only to take it every 12 hours or something, but right about the 9 hour mark I would start getting panicky and suffocated. If I were going through this again, I would ask my surgeon if I could use it a little more often. Saline spray: This helped clear some of the gunk out. Overall, if I just concentrated on breathing "breathe in... breathe out..." I realized I was getting enough air. No fun, though - especially at night. This only lasted from around day 2-5.

Did you get sick after surgery? No! I was very concerned about this, and talked about it with my surgeon and anesthesiologist. They gave me lots of anti-nausea drugs and they all worked!

How bad was the swelling? Did it last very long? Oof, swelling. My swelling peaked at day 5 (you should check it out: it's FAN.TAS.TIC). The swelling was mostly gone - i.e I could go in public with no funny looks at all - after a month. I was still swollen in my mind, and people that knew me well could tell I was swollen, but it looked normal to everyone else. By the 2 month mark I was almost completely back to normal, despite obsessing over it for a lot longer than those 2 months.

How did you exercise your jaw post-surgery? Now, make sure to ask your jaw surgeon prior to trying any of these... but I used Popsicle sticks (the big ones... tongue depressors?) for one exercise - fitting as many as I could in my jaw, and holding it for 30-60 seconds at a time. I also had to push my lower jaw using my hands from side to side. I also used a squash ball - think a ping-pong ball but squishy - and squished it down, put it between my back teeth, and let it expand.

How bad is jaw surgery (really)? Truthfully, looking back and reading my entries I know it was terrible. But a year later, I don't remember much about it - in fact, the whole month of July 2009 is a bit hazy (probably all the Demerol and lack of a sleeping schedule). I'm really glad I did it. So, know that a year after surgery you'll think it "wasn't THAT bad." *Smile*

Those are all the questions I can think of getting the most often... If you have more questions you can email me at stephanierae2804 at yahoo OR you can message me on facebook (use the link on the sidebar) OR you can leave it any comments and I'll get back to you.

crown, part 2

2010-08-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

I got the crown placed today at the dentist. For once, the appointment went as planned and it only took around 20 minutes. The worst part was taking off the temporary crown, I had a few tears running down my cheeks. Once it was off the gum tissue around the crown was intensely tender and still is a few hours later.

My top retainers no longer fit so I went into my orthodontist's office (luckily right down the street). Since I have an appointment on Thursday morning for the impressions for my splint, they decided to just trim the back tooth off of my retainer, assuring me it wouldn't move in a few days. I sure hope not.

It's really odd to have a tooth back there! I got the root canal 8 months ago, and have just had a little post since. Feels nice.

dentist: crown, part 1

2010-07-13T23:26:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly surprised I don't have an all-encompassing fear of the dentist by now. It seems every time I go something goes wrong and I'm stuck with my poor, inept jaw open for long periods of time, resulting in lots of pain.

Yesterday was no surprise - I went in to have two fillings replaced, as they were placed by a terrible dentist in my teens and were showing signs of infection underneath. Those went fairly painlessly - and now they're tooth-colored fillings, instead of shiny silver! Hooray! And all of that work took less than an hour - right on track (my dental assistant is an amazing woman who knows exactly how to treat my idiotic jaw).

Then... the crown prep. I was under the impression (excuse the pun) that it was only an impression - and I would come back in two weeks for the fitting. My dentist is placing a crown on the tooth that had to have a root canal shortly after jaw surgery - my very most rear tooth in the back upper right, of course the most difficult tooth to work on with limited jaw opening.

I'm not exactly sure what went 'wrong' - something wasn't done during or after the root canal, possibly because I was in such incredible pain and it was taking too long? Whatever the case, Dr. Nuttall dug around and took off the silver and shaped and smoothed and cut a bunch of gum tissue and... 2 hours later it was over. He was quite proud of whatever it was he accomplished in there, but I was seeing spots from pain.

The good thing that came from all of this? Dr. Nuttal, being the amazing dentist he is, took time to let my jaw rest during the treatment. He tried to cold-spray my jaw, which doesn't really help me. He then started a full neck massage - which, lo and behold, really helped! After 20 minutes of massage, I felt like I could open my jaw further and it hurt much less! Could it be possible that some of my ROM problems are stemming from muscular problems in my neck? I think I'll go to my acupuncturist to find out. I'm still really interested in a physiotherapist, as well, but am not sure how to find one.

The bad thing, of course, is insane jaw pain and a tooth-ache/gum-ache/face-ache that rivals post-jaw surgery. But without all of the cool painkillers.

Much love to all the recently post-surgery folks. It'll get better - I promise!

Anniversary

2010-07-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

It's my one year anniversary today. I thought I'd start by talking about de-banding, since it was almost a few months ago and I don't want to forget. It was a lot more painful than I thought it would be - taking the brackets off of the front teeth was fairly excruciating, although only for a few seconds while they yanked the bracket off. My jaw was in severe pain since it still doesn't like to be open for very long. The first thing they did was take off the braces - wires and all! Handy, because I kept the braces to make a Christmas ornament out of (bwahaha).

Once the braces were all off they let me take a break and then started the sanding process. That took a long time, and the techs did most of it but then Dr. Rick did the final touches - they also added something to one of my teeth, because it had a chip in it - so it would look full.

From there they glued on my bottom and top built-in retainers and then took me straight to molds (yuck). By then no one was in the office and it was time for lunch, but I had to come back for my final pictures and retainer fitting that afternoon. I did, and everything looked fine.

Now... onto the fun part - my anniversary! Here's my long-winded update.

Numbness: My chin is still quite numb. I find that there are weeks (like right now) that it drives me NUTS - it tingles, it tickles, it twitches, it feels like I have two inches of dried wax sitting on it... but normally after this goes away I find I have less numbness. The numbness does not bother me at all, at least when my chin isn't throwing a fit. The numbness covers my entire chin to some degree, and it extends into the sides of my mouth up into my upper lip and my front cheeks. Nowhere is completely numb, but I don't have 100% feeling back anywhere. Again, it doesn't bother me - some people I've read have been annoyed to no end about this, but unless I'm poking around with my fingernail or running my fingers lightly over my face I can't even tell.
Jaw pain: Since my upper retainer was taken out I've had big improvements in my jaw pain. I still am unable to chew very chewy or hard things without some pain, but I can chew gum for hours now with no problem (when my jaw starts getting tired I stop).
Jaw opening: I have good and bad days. Good days I can bite into almost anything (except tall burgers or sandwiches), bad days I have trouble with bananas. In regards of ROM, I would really recommend talking to your surgeon about their expectations - I thought I would get back to my pre-surgery opening while she figured I would get to about where I am now.
Swelling: I don't know if it's because I'm hyper-aware of my face since surgery, but I still have swollen days - especially after I've slept on my stomach for the night.
Appearance: I think I'm finally becoming used to my new face. I'm not totally hooked all parts of the face - my nose, for instance - but more often now I'm surprised in pictures by how I USED to look, rather than in the mirror when I wake up in the morning or wash my hands in a bathroom. It's still unnerving, though. It was much harder to get used to than I thought it would be - while I'm sure all of you just think "What an improvement!" I hated much of the new face for a long time. It didn't look like "me" - even if "me" involved a terribly gummy smile and long, long face.

Now - for the official comparison pictures! I wish I had the ones from my jaw surgeon (if they'll email me them I'll post them). First, the big one - profile pictures.

Teeth pictures courtesy of my orthodontist office before, during, after

Smile comparison:

And that's it! Official photos. The first ones were taken in November of 2007 just as I started this blog. The middle photos were all taken a week before surgery last year, and the final ones were taken when I was de-braced on April 28th.

Pretty amazing differences, eh? The most shocking, of course, are my profile pictures. If you look carefully, even my eye sockets look different. I now have more prominent cheekbones and a line where my jaw bone sits. My nose changed, but I'm finally almost used to that. My front-smile photos are odd, too - my face is a completely, completely different shape now - not only is my smile twice as wide, but my face is rounder and considerably shorter (10mm, I believe?). You can see when I smile that my top lip is a little droopy on one side - that's where a lot of my numbness resides. I'm hoping at as that comes back, it'll improve.

And that's it! I'll still be around and updating occasionally. I'm getting the top of my crown fitted after I'm home from a long, meandering vacation, and then I'm getting new molds taken and a splint made - hoping to get rid of the last pesky jaw pain.

Good luck, to everyone just starting this process. It's long, it's rough, and sometimes in the middle it feels pretty terrible, but I'm glad I went through with it.

surgeon update

2010-06-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

Saw Dr. Lee today and we had a nice visit. She says my bite is fine (actually, she said it looks amazing and awesome). She reminded me about the jaw angle thing - that I'm at a HUGE risk for TMJ problems, along with the relapse thing. She'd like me to talk to Dr. Molen about getting a splint for at night - something that will keep my teeth apart and therefore relax my jaw a little bit. She says that the worst/hardest position for my jaw is clenched, so I need to make sure to watch that - and make sure I'm not clenching or grinding at night (I don't think I am, but since my husband is out of the state for a year I have no idea! I'll ask him when I go down to visit next month).

My favorite tech was the one to take the final pictures today and she didn't even recognize me/ realize it was me until she brought up the before pictures. She started crying - no joke - when we compared the pictures, especially the profile. I had (have) AMAZING results. I got a copy of my profile comparison (and then accidently folded it up without thinking) but will scan that in and show you guys soon.

So... She's bummed but not concerned about my jaw pain, and I'm now opening to 40mm which she says is fine. She'd like it a bit bigger but she expected me to lose ROM because of my unhealthy joints. I don't have to do physical therapy exercises - I should just eat and yawn and do everything normally (and not avoid chewing because that will make it worse), and it should continue to improve a little. I can heat and ice to get rid of some pain. I'm supposed to avoid very chewy and tough things, as they'll aggravate my jaw pain.

She doesn't want to do the injections in my jaw, but if the pain becomes unbearable (what IS unbearable, though) or if it's still around in a year, I'm supposed to give her a call... but I can call whenever I'd like, of course.

The best part about the appointment, other than hearing that my bite was okay? Seeing post-op jaw surgery patients and people getting their molds and stuff done. Had a nice conversation with a gentleman about ready to get upper jaw surgery. Almost exactly a year ago I was in that office, doing the exact same thing!

shifting

2010-06-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

Things aren't really looking so hot for my bite, currently. On Friday I had my first migraine since surgery, and I noticed my bite felt really off. It's been feeling a bit off since I got my braces off, but that's because my bite is settling (and that's a good thing, I'm told).

Well, on Friday afternoon I noticed my bottom front teeth were bumping into my top built-in retainer. It kept happening and kept happening and my jaw was starting to get the shooting, awful pains from right after jaw surgery so I called Dr. Molen's office today and they got me in - Dr. Rick thinks my bite is just settling into a natural position. He thinks the headache and jaw pain were caused by my front teeth bumping the retainer (and therefore not being able to close naturally).

He tried to sand down my retainer so it wouldn't bump anymore, but ended up just taking it out. I go in next Wednesday and he'll re-check everything and I think I'll get new retainers, since now mine are a tiny bit loose since the built-in is gone.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Lee for my final pictures and x-rays, hopefully she'll have some insight on my small range of motion and all this stupid jaw pain.

Overall, though, I'm still glad I had the surgery. I ate corn on the cob tonight for the first time and I was able to eat it neatly and cleanly, 2 rows at a time. Only 1 migraine in a year is just fine with me - and that migraine went away once I took a pain pill and slept through the night - it didn't make me puke until I had to go to the ER or anything.

updates

2010-05-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

I'm still around, trying to find time to make a big de-bracing entry. A few observations:

Not having braces is AWESOME!
Flossing and brushing takes just a few minutes even with the built-in retainers on top and bottom.
Retainers get smelly really easily. Yuck.
While my orthodontist said I could only wear my retainers at night, I've found that if I wait all day (on days that I play instruments, anyway) I have to squeeze on my retainers and it's painful.
My ROM has improved slightly - prior to getting them off two fingers fit in tight, now on good days they even have a little space.

Stressful things:

My bite doesn't always line up, especially after playing clarinet/sax. The overbite is not a lot bigger, but I'm going to call Dr. Molen as soon as I have a free afternoon so he can double check it. Because it's definitely shifted a bit.
My jaw still hurts a lot. Bummer. Once school is out I'll see Dr. Lee and we'll think about doing something about it.

all gone!

2010-04-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

All done! The teeth actually look better than that - I got them cleaned, and this was after eating. How nice.

More details later when I've got time.

all is well

2010-04-14T22:20:00.001-07:00

I'm still on track to get the braces off on the 28th - 2 weeks from today, I'll be braces free! (Unfortunately, 2 weeks from Friday my husband leaves for a year with the military so I'm not sure if I want the time to pass quickly, or to crawl by).

They added 10 or 12 hooks to my wires and gave me a terrible, criss-crossed, banded-shut bands configuration until I told them I was unable to wear it teaching, and then they changed their minds and had me stick to what I'm doing. But I'm still stuck with the extra hooks... eh, only 2 weeks.

2 weeks!

getting ready

2010-04-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm going to call the orthodontist, of course, but did anyone else get their teeth cleaned the day of de-bracing? Since the orthodontist office is pretty far from my apartment and my two appointments are 5 hours apart, I decided to make a cleaning appointment for a few hours after the de-bracing and before the retainers appointment.

I'm a bit worried about what the color of my teeth will be post-braces. I take good care of them, but even with a dental cleaning they haven't really felt or looked the same since jaw surgery. Yuck. I'm going all out with the professional whitening post braces - I figure if I dropped the insane amount of cash for these braces and surgery, I might as well get the most out of that gorgeous smile!

Braces off T-18 days (my final appointment is on Wednesday, too)

goodbye, gap!

2010-03-31T11:45:00.001-07:00

I had my appointment at 11am this morning, she doubled up on some rubber bands and 45 minutes later the gaps do not exist. Ah, the miracles of modern orthodontics. (And praise the Lord for tylenol and ibuprofen, aye!).

So, we're still on for the big de-bracing! T-29 days!

appointment

2010-03-29T11:51:00.001-07:00

They didn't seem very concerned about the gaps - I'm going in on Wednesday to get a power chain or tie-back that will fix them both. Phew! :)

gasp! GAPS!

2010-03-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

I have large gaps that just developed over the past 3 days between my rear two molars on either side of my lower jaw. Argh! I'm calling on Monday to see if there's anything they can do... April 14th is the day they decide to cut the wires and whatnot. I would really like these braces off April 28th. April 28th! I already have my sub scheduled and everything...

my practically perfect bite

2010-03-11T22:05:00.000-08:00

As my journey is slowly coming to an end I look back and see more positives than negatives. There are many days that go by that I don't even think about my jaw or my teeth - for the first time in years, now. Some of my favorite things about my post-jaw surgery existence:

When I bite into something, it bites off evenly. Prior to jaw surgery (and before I knew anything about jaw surgery) I would tear things apart with my front teeth instead of bite through them - life was so much messier before jaw surgery.
Chewing with teeth that meet is incredible! I chew so much more effectively now, and in less time - especially with salads. Before jaw surgery I had to shift my jaw around to find a chewing surface - no more! All (ALL) of my teeth meet!
No migraines - can you believe it? I'm somewhere around 8 months (9 months?) post-op, and still only the 1 migraine in the week after jaw surgery. Life is good!
I find myself breathing through my nose without thinking about it - I used to be a mouth breather (and ONLY a mouth breather). Now with my newly widened nasal passages and comfortable jaw resting position, I'm a part-time nose breather! Weird!
Healthier gum tissue - probably from stopping some of my mouth breathing.
An overall more balanced appearance to my face, the most noticeable aspect being the lack of a hugely gummy smile. Seeing my newly improved profile in pictures never ceases to amaze me, as well (what? I have a chin!?)
A wider smile - looking at pictures prior to jaw surgery, only my front few teeth show and then dark pockets filled the sides of my mouth. Now, my smile is very wide, and shows most of my teeth. Neat!

As I'm wearing my rubber bands less and less (and they're weaker rubber bands when I do wear them) my jaw has been less and less painful. My range of motion has already improved despite doing no physical therapy - I can fit 2 fingers in with a little wiggle room, now - even back past my 2nd knuckles. My bite is retaining so well that if I wear the rubber bands all night for a few nights in a row I wake up with my front teeth bumping painfully - so every couple of nights I get to leave them out! And I never have to wear them during the day.

Life is good. And will be so much better when these things come off! Debracing T-47 days (I hope!). I look forward to joining my blogging buddies in falling off of the face of the earth :)

chin numbness

2010-03-07T16:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know how much I've mentioned my numbness lately, but I thought I'd give an odd update. So, my chin is still numb (it's the only thing left that's numb, though). For the most part, I don't even notice that it's numb until something lightly brushes against it and then it tickles - kind of like brushing your finger along the side of an appendage that's fallen asleep. Anything with harder pressure I feel pretty much normally, just a little muted.

This week I had a few too many performances on my clarinet (on Monday a regular hour long concert, on Thursday a 3-4 hour dress rehearsal, and then 3 performances over Friday and Saturday in the pit for Cinderella - where we play close to constantly for the 2 hour musical). Of course, my jaw is aching and my entire face hurts - but I can also feel my chin!

Just like right after surgery, I feel like there's a thick layer of dried wax or something stiff on my chin. I can feel it all the time - not just when it moves. I'm assuming that I wore out the muscles so terribly that they're very sore - or, would be if I could feel them completely - so instead I'm feeling them in my weird little way. Odd.

good news!

2010-02-23T20:00:00.001-08:00

It looks like I'm getting my braces off on APRIL 28TH! I have my next appt. on April 14th, and if it looks good they'll cut my wires and I'll come back on April 28th. If everything is still looking good, I get my braces off and then come back in the afternoon for my retainer.

My bite looks amazing. I'm still in rubberbands, but they're relaxed. My teeth look amazing. AMAZING!!

I asked about retaining my BITE after surgery (I'm not worried about the teeth, as I'll be good about wearing my retainers). Apparently I'll be getting a splint to wear after braces, as well, to help retain my bite.

sinus infection

2010-02-09T18:03:00.000-08:00

Another sinus infection going on over here. Called the jaw surgeon, will be prescribed anti-biotics. Hopefully in the next 6 months the sinus problems will die down - when the upper jaw is raised/impacted it gets moved into your sinus cavity - and apparently my sinus cavity is pissed off that a foreign object is invading it!

Silly sinus cavity - the jaw bone is your FRIEND! Play nice, please.

getting nervous

2010-02-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

It's been about 7 months since my surgery now. Around the 3 month mark when I went back to school I had a lot of anxiety about my appearance and the new jaw/face/hair. But over the last 4 months, it's really subsided because everyone I know that lives around me has seen me in person.

But this next weekend, I go to my annual state music educators conference. I'm going to see dozens and dozens of people that knew me really well before the surgery but haven't seen me at all (or have just seen pictures) of me since then. It's pretty stupid, but I've pretty nervous about going - it's so awkward to see people I knew really well that just don't recognize me and then I have to talk about the surgery and re-introduce myself and they feel all embarrassed and weird and I feel embarrassed and weird...

Now, it's not like I look like a different person to me. But for some reason, about a quarter of people I know will just walk by me the first time they see me, smile like I look familiar, and keep walking. Or I'll talk to them "Hey, Chris! How's it going!" and I get that look like "I know you from somewhere... oh God! Stephanie!"

It's just weird. Weird, weird weird.

sigh [part 2,862]

2010-01-19T17:38:00.000-08:00

Sigh.

Braces? Still on.

Bands? New configuration, and now the side ones on 22 hours a day and the front ones at night.

Jaw? No end in sight to this blasted joint pain. On one hand I really don't want to bother Dr. Lee because she's said TWICE now that there's nothing she can do until the bands are off, but on the other hand I don't know how much longer I can go around in pain like this without going crazy. Off the deep end crazy.

Sigh.

hopes up

2010-01-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

Sad as it might be, the night before every orthodontist appointment I think "Ooh, maybe my teeth are so perfect now he'll take the braces of tomorrow!"

...................

Now, in the real world I know my teeth aren't perfect yet (or even close enough to take the darned things off). My two upper front teeth are different heights and still look a bit crooked, and while my bite is finally meeting in all of the places it's supposed to (my back AND front teeth touch at the same time!) I always meet first on my right side and after a school day where I don't wear my rubber bands I have to shift my bite around to get all of the teeth to meet.

In my dream world, though, these puppies are coming OFF! Hopefully the rubber bands WILL be finally coming off, though(6.5 months later, aye!). I'm going to wheedle and deal and whine and beg - I want to see if the jaw crap really is from the bands, and if not, I want to fix it (and, uh, now).

Much love to all the braces buddies out there. Miss you guys! Someday soon I'll join you in falling off the face of the earth, though! Can't wait!

bone graft kiddos...

2010-01-07T22:06:00.000-08:00

I forgot to post this last time, but I went in for my yearly physical last week and my doctor and I talked a lot about my surgery. When she noticed the scar on my hip I told her about the bone graft and she asked if I had been massaging the incision site. Apparently once the incision site is healed it should be deeply massaged twice a day for the year following the surgery - it will prevent too much scar tissue from forming and improve the muscular function, range of motion, and tissue health/ healing - even though my surgery was 6 months ago it's still healing.

So I started to massage it twice a day and sure enough, it's definitely still healing in there - very tender when I dig my fingers in and massage. I'm already feeling looser in that hip when I run - I've been struggling a little bit as I get my mileage back up I feel like my gait is a bit uneven coming from my right hip.

So, if you have a bone graft from anywhere but your mouth - good to know! :)

sensation

2010-01-05T18:33:00.001-08:00

This week I've had a lot of sensation coming back into my chin. The slight downside currently is that sensation coming back equals a constant 'itching' feeling all over my chin - no matter what I do, it doesn't make it go away at all - I find myself scratching it all the time. But in the long run, wahoo! Feeling! More feeling! It's slow, but 6 months out I'm still seeing major improvements.

6 months out. Crazy. I've been damning the jaw pain and eating what I feel like - I ate an almond, steak, salad, and crispy chips and crackers galore. I also realized that I only chew on the right side of my mouth, and I'm wondering if that's contributing to my lack of range of motion side to side - I can force my jaw a millimeter or two to the right, but not at ALL to the left. So I'm trying to chew with my left side only when I remember.

Quick pity-poo-party: It seems like EVERYONE is either out of braces or about to be out of braces. 6 months (or more?) seems like SO. STINKING. LONG.

Okay, it's over. Wahoo, no migraines STILL! 6 months!

Happy New Year!

jaw surgeon visit, part billion

2009-12-27T17:16:00.001-08:00

Went back to the jaw surgeon last Tuesday. Nothing happened - she seemed surprised I was in rubber bands, told me she didn't want to do any injections into my jaw joint (a combination of steroids, anti-inflammatories, fluid, and pain medication) until I was out of the rubber bands, because it's a bit major and it won't do anything if I'm still banded. She gave me a prescription for vicoden and told me to come back in - in a month - if it was the same (and I was out of rubber bands). The injection will take anesthesia - laughing gas type - and it can be done in her office.

I didn't even fill the prescription. I'm concerned about taking too many pain-killers like vicoden and percocet - high addiction profiles. PLUS, I really feel that those types of pain killers are for pain that I can't handle. And I can handle this pain, it just sucks. And wakes me up a lot at night.

I immediately called my orthodontist, but they were already out for the holidays. My joint pain is still wretched. I still have no side-to-side or forward-to-back motion in my jaw (less than 1mm change in either direction is possible, even when I push as hard as I can). My ROM is pretty much exactly the same, 28mm this time (but I'm sure I could have stretched it to the 29 I got last time). Nothing is improving, and she seems to think it's all because of the rubber bands so I guess I'm trusting her.

We talked about why this is happening - the angle of my lower jaw is quite extreme - in 'ideal' jaws it's close to parallel to the floor, mine is a very steep angle from the lower jaw joint to the chin. This means my muscles are too short, and pull sharply over the joints - which causes a high risk for relapse (yay not me!) and TMJ pain/ problems. My joints ARE remodeling, but she's not concerned at this point. Hopefully this will all resolve itself once the bands are off. I'll talk to my orthodontist about it at my appointment on Jan 19th... My bite is almost perfect when the rubber bands are in, but when I leave them out for a few hours (I only have to wear them 18 hrs a day) I can tell it becomes off... my right side doesn't even touch after a few hours.

Anyway, I don't mean to be a downer around the holidays. Even with all of these problems I'm having, I'm really glad I went through the surgery. I am still migraine free, close to 6 months after surgery. My bite is perfect with the rubber bands! And things are improving... I ate fruit and nut bread from a good friend, I am starting to be able to eat without thinking - in moderation, crunchy and chewy things are possible now.

first cleaning post-surgery

2009-12-22T00:54:00.000-08:00

I survived! Luckily, this time I got a much more gentle dental hygienist this time, who went very slowly and carefully around all of the metal and rubber and blech. I'm still missing a lot of feeling in my gums and teeth, but where I CAN feel is hyper-sensitive to anything and everything. Between that and my jaw opening MAYBE halfway, I was intensely nervous going in for the appointment today.

I haven't actually been in for a cleaning since June of 2008 - right about then the insane migraines started when propping my jaw open for long periods of time, and I chose to wait it out. I figured I'd be able to have one soon after surgery, making it only a year between cleanings, but I'm almost 6 months post-op.

However, despite having braces, having jaw surgery, AND not getting a cleaning for a year and a half, my teeth looked pretty good! She said I had deposits around the normal areas where the saliva glands are (on the back teeth and the front teeth, apparently?), but overall looked very good. I really work hard with the waterpik, floss, little brushes, and my sonicare to get everything nice and clean.

I have some receding gum stuff going on in the rear of my teeth - ironic, really, since I have so much puffy, extra gum up front from irritation from the rubber bands and being a mouth breather (though, much less of a mouth breather since surgery!). You'd think my body could just... well... even it out, right?

My jaw is pretty sore, and I'll end up taking a painkiller for it so I can sleep tonight - the pain is by far the worst when I'm sleeping anyway, and the few nights after my root canal I was waking up every half hour or hour. I'm calling my surgeon tomorrow to see if they're in the office and I can drop off the insurance payment and talk about that pesky right jaw joint.

Let me tell you, I can't stop running my tongue over my teeth now! They feel so wonderful and smooth :)

good news

2009-12-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

I have so much good news!

My insurance company is finally paying up! Swedish hospital credited my account all of the money I've had to pay (phew!)
My root canal was a piece of cake today, tooth wise. Jaw wise it's a bit of another story, but it was SO much easier than last time thanks to the valium and pain killers BEFORE the work started.
Dr. West (the endodontist) said my mouth opening was considerably larger this time!

I get a cleaning next Monday, the first one in over a year. I didn't go before jaw surgery because of the massive migraines (any dental work or orthodontist work put me into the ER, if you don't remember)... and then I've had such a limited range of motion I haven't gone in. I know they won't be able to get everything - I've got ten pounds of extra tin and rubber in there not including my braces AND my my range of motion is still pretty awful- but at least it'll be a start and I can go back again in a few months once my ROM gets better. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

aha!

2009-12-15T18:39:00.001-08:00

It was a fun weekend of visiting good friends from college - ones I haven't seen since surgery, which always makes me a tad nervous. In regards to my face, I think my friend Chels said it best - she said that I look "really different, but then I smile and laugh and then I look the same."

I realized, my pictures aren't really my real smile - my real smile is BIG and shows lots of teeth and metal and my face crinkles up, and my laugh makes the huge smile even BIGGER. I love to smile and laugh, and love that now I'm not really self-conscious about it - I mean, no more centimeter of gum showing! Here are the best pictures that I can find of my real smile (two before braces - then with braces before surgery - then after surgery) which can't be replicated well in one of my "look at my progress" pictures.

(I hope no one IN these pictures minds me posting them on the internet. If you do, let me know and I'll photoshop you out!)

why I teach middle school

2009-12-10T22:31:00.000-08:00

I LOVE middle schoolers. They say the funniest things.

This girl in one of my last classes at the end of a very long day says to me "So... Mrs. Sheppard" in a very serious voice.

"Yes?"

"Do you like Twilight?"

... pause... "Well, yes, I enjoyed the books. I read them. I didn't enjoy the first movie as much. Wait, why?"

"'Cause those things in your mouth make you look like a vampire."

(Cracking up inside) "Oh yeah, that's why I wear them."

Girl tilts head "REALLY!?!"

21!

2009-12-08T19:43:00.001-08:00

I just reached 21 popsicle sticks! I have officially tripled my opening from the first physical therapy day in early August. I'm sitting here the dreaded squash ball in my mouth, drooling all over as I type this... but I was so excited I didn't want to wait to tell everyone. 21! 21! 21!

Life is good. At the very least, life could be much worse.

appointments

2009-12-07T21:59:00.000-08:00

Lots of dental/mouth appointments during winter break this year - on the first Monday of break I'm sneaking in for a cleaning - I have so much metal/ rubber on my teeth I'm not sure what they'll be able to accomplish, but at least they can start chipping away some of the grime (ew!). I hate the feeling of my teeth ever since surgery - I just can't get them clean! And I know they were concerned about buildup especially in the rear of my mouth where I still struggle to clean - I floss, but I'm not sure I'm getting everything because I can't open my mouth wide enough to see inside of there, and I also don't have much feeling back there yet. I'm a bit worried about having my mouth open - but it seems it's not getting any better any time soon, so I might as well quit waiting and getting cavities :)

Also, later into break I've got the rest of my root canal appointment, which ought to be a real fantastic time - at least with that appointment comes valium and percocet (don't worry, my husband is driving me!). PLUS I'm calling my surgeon tomorrow to 1) figure out this insurance crap and 2) make an appointment to get my joint looked at again.

So... insurance stuff. I had to make a 1,000 dollar payment last week because my account was going into default. Can I just say that I have NO IDEA why they're still billing ME?! Shouldn't it all go to my district - the district that agreed to pay for my surgery? And they're being REALLY SLOW with the purse strings apparently, so I've got to make payments until then. And, well, we don't exactly have thousands of dollars laying around. Augh, to say the least.

I have a good feeling about physical therapy this week - I feel like I might get to 21 popsicle sticks! The last two nights 20 hasn't been excruciating. I think that doing the exercises 3 times a day instead of 2 times is improving things, too - it seems like the therapy exercises aren't such a 'shock' to my jaw when I do them more often (my sessions in the morning and afternoon are shorter than my evening session). And the heat, again, REALLY helps. I ice only after my evening marathon session. I didn't do as much as I should have over the weekend (I'm stressed to the max and didn't even think about it - I even forgot to brush my teeth one night, I fell asleep in my chair with my laptop on my lap!) and my jaw was hurting pretty badly by yesterday - but with three sessions of therapy we're back!

Since I'm in blogging mode - let's do a full update. Since the new rubberbands up front my teeth are meeting almost perfectly - I ate salad tonight without too much trouble! Sometimes my teeth on the right side hit before the left, but I'm sure that will work itself out.

Numbness - Like I mentioned before, many of my teeth/ upper gums are pretty numb still. I have feeling, it's just slow. My chin is coming back like crazy this month - it itches for no reason, tickles, when I brush my fingers over the skin it tingles - whoo hoo! My lips are almost back completely. (bummer, as a clarinet player). I guess my cheeks still have some numb spots. The weird thing is, is I don't even notice the numbness anymore unless I test for it. It used to bother me - kind of felt like wax was dried on my skin all the time. But now I don't really notice it.

I think that's it! Minus the ROM and possibly displaced disk on the right side, things are good. And I have faith that things will get better after a long talk with Dr. Lee. Goodnight, everyone!

thank you, fish sticks

2009-12-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

Since surgery, there are a lot of foods I just can't quite stand any longer. Ensure, Muscle Milk, and Slim Fast all make me gag even thinking about drinking them. I'm not in the mood for any kind of tomato soup, smoothies, even ice cream and frozen yougurt isn't all that appealing any more. I don't enjoy Gatorade as much, either.

In the weeks following surgery once I was cleared for soft foods (if you remember) I "ate" a lot of fish sticks and potato wedges (er, mashed them up with a lot of tarter sauce and swallowed them whole). It was one of my favorite meals for probably a month. Well, like everything else, I became tired of fish sticks.

Tonight I was in the Metropolitan Market where they sell my tasty fish sticks (not the cheap, nasty ones - they're actually real fish!)... and lo and behold, I kind of felt like eating them!

And you know what? I can eat them now! We're talking, pick up the fish stick in the hand, dip it in the sauce, and take a big bite - and then CHEW them! It was pure heaven. The entire time I was thinking about those first few weeks of eating solid food and how terrible everything was.

Despite all of my continued painful and long healing process, I really have come a long way. What a nice reminder. Thank you, fish sticks.

thankful

2009-11-26T11:28:00.000-08:00

For all you Americans out there, Happy Thanksgiving! It's funny, this year I am thankful for an odd thing.

I haven't said anything on here, but I've been a little discouraged again about the face. I'm still not quite used to it, and it's been pretty swollen between the root canal and new rubber bands and a minor sinus infection - which I'm sure hasn't helped the matter. However, today after running I decided to take the extra 15 minutes and blowdry my hair - after it was done, I realized that I really like my new face today. The new haircut accentuates my new jawline and new chin and it really is flattering. Maybe I should dry my hair more often :) So, I'm thankful for becoming used to my face.

I haven't posted a picture for a while, and I'm not sure it's even really changing much anymore, but here you go - along with pictures of the new rubberband configuration at my orthodontist appointment this past Tuesday. He told me that the reason for my root canal was a cavity that had become irritated, and there was really no way for it to become painful due to the shortening of the roots (phew!). They changed both of my wires out, gave me lots of new hooks again, added the metal lacing between the front brackets on top and bottom again, added some rubber tie-backs from my incisors to the back teeth to close those gaps again, kept me in my old rubber band configuration and added new crazy ones up front. I'm allowed to take them out while I'm teaching now to help aid with my jaw pain in the right joint, but he wants me to try to hit 18 hours a day, and then 24 (minus eating and brushing) on weekends and any breaks. Luckily, my next appointment is a month earlier than it normally would be - in mid January. Hurray!

Also, with the jaw pain/ lack of range of motion, the heated rice sock has continued to decrease my jaw pain. For the first time since surgery (edging on 5 months now) I can yawn without severe pain. Whenever I'd accidently yawn fully my right joint would SCREAM. Now, no pain! I'm not sure if it's the rice that has done it or if it's because my ROM has increased (still at 20 sticks) and now yawning doesn't strain the joint, but I'll take it.

new love

2009-11-22T21:46:00.000-08:00

I officially have a new love in my life - the rice sock I made to assist me in my physical therapy exercises. It's just a bunch of jasmine rice stuffed and tied into one of my husband's mammoth socks and microwaved until the point of explosion (okay, slight exaggeration). When placed next to my sensitive and painful right jaw joint prior to and during physical therapy exercises, they don't seem so terrible. In fact, I got up to 20 tongue depressors! Now, to ice the rest of the pain away. I also pre-medicated with ibuprofen a half hour before the exercises.

I'm going to try to focus on the positive once again. Tuesday I see my orthodontist and I'll have a long conversation with Dr. Molen about this stuff to see what he thinks.

I won't break, I'm just stressed. I guess I shouldn't be comparing myself and my jaw and my healing to everyone else. It doesn't help anything. I WILL try acupuncture (don't know why I didn't think of it myself... thanks, Kate) and I'll keep this heating and icing and medicating bit going and, well, it'll all work out in the end.

I'm still glad I had this surgery - despite the pain in my jaw that lasts and lasts, it is still better than daily migraines. I have a beautiful occlusion - my lower teeth sit right behind my upper teeth! I'm struggling with this slow healing process (unable to chew many foods still, no jaw movement side-to-side or front-to-back, limited range of motion, and pain in my left TMJ), but I think I should just relax...

monthly panic attack, check

2009-11-22T03:09:00.000-08:00

It seems it's time for the monthly "this-is-totally-never-going-to-heal-I'll-be-a-freak-my-entire-life" freak out. Please, fellow post-jaw surgery friends, answer me one or more of the following:

1) How long after surgery did you have to do physical therapy - and what was that physical therapy? I'm doing the stupid tongue depressor stack-of-hell, the awful squash ball between the back teeth, and the push the lower jaw to one side or the other and hold.
2) How is your range of motion now, and what was it like 4.5-ish months post op?
3) Can you move your lower jaw side to side? What about forward and backwards? When were you able to start doing this?

It feels like I'm going nowhere with this physical therapy, and it's beginning to wear on me. It feels like I'm doing it all for nothing, as nothing is improving except for maybe my tolerance for pain. I'm back to icing again, perhaps will try heating before the therapy stuff.

What are my other options? I've called my surgeon. She says to do the exercises more, but I'm doing them all I can.

At a bit of a breaking point here...

emergency dentist appointment

2009-11-19T15:53:00.000-08:00

I would love for all of this drama with my mouth to be over.

As my teeth and gums are beginning to have feeling again, I noticed my back tooth on my upper left side has been especially sensitive. I've been ignoring it, as I figured it was all in the course of getting feeling back (just like my chin used to burn and have those weird shooting pains). Well... two weeks or so later, it's just getting worse and worse to the point of being unable to chew on that side so I called my dentist yesterday. They had me come in today (which worked out well because I was dropping the husband off at the airport for another round of military training)...

Two hours, four x-rays, 3 dentists opinions, and a lot of testing later they decided I needed to see an endodontist (which I had never even heard of) TODAY for my rear-most teeth on the top left. I drove straight to the endodontic office where they decided they were doing an emergency root canal - or, really, half of one. They cut open the tooth and pulled out all of the insides and stuck a cap over the top. They'll finish the root canal on December 28th.

It turns out that my roots are so shortened on those upper two teeth that it may have caused all of the sensitivity and pain. Since I can't feel the tooth in front of it, they think I might have to get another root canal on that tooth - since it's in the same boat. It sounded like I could have lost the tooth the roots were so short, and they're not even sure the tooth is completely viable.

Since I have such a limited opening, that was a terribly painful set of appointments. The endodontist prescribed me valium and percocet for the next appointment - I'm supposed to take one valium an hour before the appointment, and then another one a half hour before the appointment. I can also take a percocet. My jaw on the right side is now popping in a new way - almost like bone or cartliage rubbing against bone or cartliage, and it is INTENSE.

The GOOD thing about the appointment, though, was the numbing shots didn't hurt at ALL because I still have limited feeling in my gums/ upper palate. Whoo hoo!

I know this shouldn't upset me so much, but I spent the entire 35 minute drive from my dentist to my endodontist sobbing. Granted, part of that was the lack of sleep last night (helping Nick pack) and then my husband leaving for over a month during the holidays... but I'm pretty down about all of this. I am SO done with everything to do with my mouth.

funny stuff

2009-11-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

Part 1: You guys will like this story. I was checking out in Target tonight and I got the funniest cashier EVER. He rings up my purchases, asks me how I'm doing (the normal) I smiled at him and said "Oh, doing fine." He LIGHTS UP when he sees my braces and says "Whoa! Braces! How long do you have to wear those things?!" I'm a little bit thrown off now, and respond with "Oh, about 6 more months or so." "Whoa! Like, were your teeth like THIS?!?" And he literally puts his hands in an L shape - like my upper teeth were so crooked they were parallel with the floor (yes, floor). I said "Ummm, no, not quite that bad. But pretty crooked." He then goes on to tell me ALL ABOUT his wisdom teeth and how he wants braces... Seriously? Odd.

Part 2: I get hit on a LOT more now that I have a chin.

That's all.

everything's fine, of course

2009-11-05T20:55:00.001-08:00

Except my range of motion... I'm only at 29mm and they want me at 48. That's practically half of what I need to be. Ouch...

The pain in my right jaw joint? She thinks it's inflammation from the tight rubber bands and struggling against them to talk all day (teacher!). The pain/weird clicky feelings behind my front teeth? My bones growing and I'm able to feel the plate now.

If it all continues? I can get a shot of steriods in my jaw for the pain, and if the plate is still really bothering me I can get it removed a year after surgery.

Blah. I figured it was normal, but it was good to hear.

back to the surgeon...

2009-11-04T21:17:00.001-08:00

I'm heading in for an emergency appointment with my surgeon tomorrow. The nagging, sharp, and almost constant pain the right jaw joint combined with the weird random swelling combined with the weird painful click-y feeling behind my front teeth/nose meant missing a day of work to drive back to Seattle. Poor band/orchestra students. Yet again, I'm missing too much school!

Now, I don't want to complain too much - but I had no idea I'd be 4 months out and still dealing with all of this. I'm still doing physical therapy - up to 19 sticks now. It's still yucky and painful. I still have problem with many foods - no steak yet, no salad yet (I can't chew it well enough and swallowing lettuce whole is unpleasant, to say the least), nothing crunchy, I have to be careful with breads, nothing chewy... Am still unable to bite into things 'cause the jaw doesn't open wide enough...

The numbness is still around but I truthfully barely notice it anymore. I have SOME feeling everywhere, some places are just a little more tingly or slow to respond than others.

I don't know anyone else with this problem, but I think the weirdest thing for me has been playing instruments again. With a correct occlusion I'm a much better flute and trumpet player, but my low brass and clarinet (boo) skills have gone out the WINDOW! With low brass I'm double buzzing all over the place and can't keep a pitch center... with the clarinet I sound terrible and leak air like a sieve. I can't figure out a good angle, and everything is different. Yuckity yuckity yuck.

this will seem funny later, I'm sure

2009-10-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

I got my yearly benefits open enrollment package last week at school. My school district is changing to the state union benefits! The benefits I had when my braces journey first started in my first school district, the amazing benefits that would have paid for my surgery no questions asked.

Just a year too late. Argh. Instead, I have a 51,000 dollar bill still attached to my name.

burgerville

2009-10-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

Not a lot to say, but I realized I hadn't posted this picture here on my blog! It's one of the best photos of me EVER. It's hilarious. This is my first time biting into a sandwich/hamburger! If you look closely, I've pretty much sat on it to flatten it out and I've taken out most of the toppings... but I did it! I bit into a burger. Ah, the taste of success.

oh yeah, insurance stuff

2009-10-16T17:35:00.001-07:00

I'm once again in the middle of insurance chaos. I had to make a "small" payment (luckily I have extra money in my health FSA account) so I wouldn't be charged late fees or go into default, etc. I'm faxing in my pre-approval letter and all of the documentation on the case, my hearing, etc.

We'll see what happens! (I knew it was all too good to be true!)

owie

2009-10-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

My jaw hurts. A lot. I'm back on ibuprofen. And tylenol. I've backed off the jaw exercises (ooh, up to 16 sticks now). I've backed off playing my clarinet and all other instruments. I'm wearing my rubber bands as much as physically possible. I'm not overdoing it chewing - I'm still taking it pretty easy. I'm getting headaches again, too - not migraines, but headaches nonetheless.

Ouch. When is it time to call my surgeon?

you'd think....

2009-10-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

.... after all of this braces/dental/surgery MESS I'd be less afraid of the dentist and less disgusted by teeth.

But nope. Yuck.

part II... don't freak out [yet]

2009-10-04T17:31:00.001-07:00

I got this in the mail on Friday. Yeah, it's a bill.

Back to my benefits coordinator on Monday!

part I... old photos

2009-10-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

I'll do a better comparison once our old computer is up and running again (hopefully this month, but God only knows).

Here's the latest photo. Overall, I think this is my new face.

Here are some old photos I've copied off of facebook and the internet that I think emphasize my formerly long and narrow face, overbite, tall gummy smile, or lack of chin.

first real adjustment [day 92]

2009-09-30T12:15:00.001-07:00

Yesterday's orthodontist appointment was... eventful. Which I am grateful for, because maybe this means I'll have less time in braces, but it meant taking another sick day today to sleep off the pain - it's really, really difficult to talk and eat. But like I said, no pain, no gain!

The downer? 8-9 months in braces left. It's quite odd, as I distinctly remember him giving me 2 and a half years in braces including surgery - but somewhere along the line I got in my head I would be in braces 6 months after surgery. Silly Stephanie, you've got a long time yet. On one hand, of course I'm disappointed. But on the other hand? I'd much rather them stay on longer and have better results than take them off too soon.

The work? Get this. I went in for a simple wire change - one of those 10 minute appointments where it takes longer for the tech to get the doctor over than for anything actually happening. He started poking around my mouth and calling out numbers to the tech, saying they had "changed their mind" and "oh, did I have time?" Of COURSE I have time! :) They removed and re-positioned 10-ish brackets, put bite turbos on the rear front two teeth, took off all that extra metal and extra hooks (YAHOO!!), took a set of x-rays, gave me new wires, and a new rubberband configuration.

Progress pictures are just the front of my teeth today as I can't open enough to get arch pictures. But most of the metal is off - wahoo! Other pictures? The picture of the day [day 92ish] of my face smiling, and then one not smiling - some of you commented that you couldn't see anything 'wrong' with my upper lip and nose, and I think it's much more visible when I'm not smiling. My lips don't touch, and my upper jaw/ upper lip sticks out weirdly.

And finally... my orthodontist took a front x-ray and it's pretty cool. I haven't had much luck wth getting these to post in the past, but here it is!

bummed [day 90]

2009-09-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what's gotten into me lately, but I've had a big case of the blues for the past 3 or 4 days. Everything is frustrating and I'm just not feeling well. When I went into surgery three months ago, I had no idea all of this would be lasting so long. What's wrong with me? Why am I healing so slowly?

I still have my sinus infection. I was off antibiotics for 2 days and it was back in full force. Dr. Lee says if it continues to see my primary care doctor and to have the doctor page her personally (I now have her office, cell phone, and pager numbers... what a cool surgeon).

I'm still frustrated with my looks. I don't like my upper lip and I really don't like what my nose looks like. I thought it would go down, but it's still upwards - now I can see into my nose in most pictures.

I'm getting lots of pain and popping and clicking in my jaw, and my jaw exercises are not doing anything anymore. I know I'm not quite doing them as much as I'm supposed to be (I should be doing 4 times a day, I do 2)... But they give me really bad headaches and I hate going to school with headaches. I do them when I get home from work and before bed.

I still feel like I don't have as much energy as I did pre-op. I went to an amazing indoor water park on Friday night and after a few hours of climbing up the stairs for the water slides my hip gave up on me... No more slides for Stephanie! And then at the fair the next day I was tired after just a few hours (I usually spend a whole day there), and then barely made it through the Oktoberfest party I went to that night - ended up stealing a chair from someone and just sitting for most of the night (looking at people's backs, as everyone was standing and facing away from me). After that weekend 'o' fun I could barely keep my eyes open during my planning period today.

I have an orthodontist appointment tomorrow. After my emergency appointment a few weeks back they stuck me in a new rubberband configuration to stop the over-correcting of my bite, but now the overbite is re-showing and my teeth barely hit my bumpers anymore. My back teeth don't even come close to touching.

Will these braces ever come off? :( Sorry to be such a downer, but MAN I've been taking this really rough lately. I just want to be back to normal.

questions [day 85]

2009-09-23T23:12:00.001-07:00

Okay, fellow bloggers. I'm wondering if a few things are normal. Help me out.

Sensitivity to spices (especially cayenne), mint, and cinnamon. I can't even use listerene anymore because it causes the roof of my mouth to burn so badly!
Continued fairly major swelling - especially in my upper lip. I'm noticing that my upper lip seems so much smaller now since surgery - and it comes and goes, but today it's really gone.
Gum and teeth sensitivity in general - where I'm numb it doesn't bother me [of course] but pretty much everywhere in my mouth that's awake is pissed off. My gums ache after flossing, my teeth ache where the rubber bands are, my tongue burns, and my teeth are sensitive to hot and cold and sweet where they never have been before.
Molars not meeting. They're better on one side than the other, but in general my front teeth touch but my back ones don't.

I have really grubby teeth. I want to get my teeth cleaned REALLY terribly - what do you guys think? I'm still sitting at 15 popsicle sticks, so I can't get open very much. But I'd been almost a year without a cleaning prior to surgery because the dentist caused my migraines to go through the roof, and then the whole banded shut thing and, well, you know. I have fuzz. I brush 3 times a day but it comes back so quickly... It's gross.

bit of a scare... [day 78]

2009-09-16T19:32:00.000-07:00

This post is dis-jointed and rambling. However, in my defense I'm still sick and exhausted from school starting. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Yesterday I had a bit of a scare, to put it lightly. The night before last I realized my upper and lower teeth in front were directly hitting - not hitting the pads or the brackets, but coming down right on top of each other. Since I'm not wearing my bands at night, I wondered if that could be contributing to my bad bite (and a side note before y'all get preachy on me: I called my orthodontist. Since my mouth is banded shut at night and my nose is completely clogged, I was suffocating - it felt like the week following surgery and it was terrible... so I called my orthodontist and they said to leave them off until I can breathe again). Anyway, instead of telling me it was okay or whatever they wanted me to come in to an emergency appointment to check it out. AHHH!!! I drove straight from work to my orthodontist office, about a 45 minute drive.

The bite is hopefully being corrected from the technical underbite (hah!) with some intense rubber bands in box configurations on both sides. My teeth, jaw, and head ACHE from them - for the first time in weeks I'm back on a regular regimen of tylenol AND ibuprofen, and I ended up just leaving them off for the hour after lunch so I could teach with a clear head. They are intense. Hopefully they'll work - I am dying to get rid of rubber bands in general. My teeth are really sore wherever the band connect to - in fact, in my newly-waking up left side on top I feel like I have a cavity. I think it's just intense pain from the rubber bands and the 'new' sensations up there.

Other things of note:

ROM: My opening hasn't improved any... still at 15 sticks. I'm pretty frustrated because now my rubber bands are even tighter, and it feels like progress is going slower. Argh.

Numbness: my chin is really coming back - still patches of numbness but those are tingling now. Upper gums still completely numb. Roof of the mouth tickles constantly, and I can feel it when things burn it now (yay?). Lower lip still a bit dull but I can feel all of it. Top lip and cheeks are completely back. It's been really fantastic. Minus my top gums, I wouldn't be too upset if NOTHING improved from here on out - and I know it will. I'm in good shape.

Swelling: While the sinus infection is getting better, my face is still swollen. Really swollen. It is worse in the early mornings and in the evenings. I have good days and bad days, and the good days are GOOD. I'm starting to like my face finally.

Pain: I don't have much pain anymore. Prior to the latest rubber band change and sinus infection, I can't remember the last time I took something. Amazing - as I could go through bottles and bottles of ibuprofen and tylenol prior to surgery.

Migraines: STILL NONE! Wahoo!! Life is so good. Kate, you asked a few posts ago if I was waiting in anticipation or feeling liberated? I feel so free and wonderful! For the first month or two I was just waiting - every morning I would wake up with the mandatory "okay, how bad is it today?" thoughts, and every morning I was headache free... Everything feels easier and happier and lighter and brighter... I can't even describe how amazing this change has been.

Clicking: I don't know if this is normal, but my jaw clicks. A lot. It clicked before surgery, but nothing like this. I'm hoping it will improve as my ROM improves.

Speech: I haven't really talked about this much lately, but my speech is still muddled, especially when I've talked a lot. If you listen closely I lisp on every 's' sound, and I struggle with 't' sounds and 'th' sounds. They come out slurred. 'F' sounds come out funny, but I think that's still my rubber bands. My 'r' sounds come out as 'w' when I'm tired. This is really frustrating to me, but hopefully it will improve. Guess it's time to pull out the tongue twisters?

Energy: Getting better all the time, but I'm not back to pre-surgery levels yet. I need much more sleep at night, and wear out easier during the day.

Hip: I almost don't notice my hip anymore. It still stretches when walking downhill which is uncomfortable, and I don't like to sleep on it. I hip-bumped my car door shut the other day and almost collapsed in surprise/pain, though, so it's still not completely healed. It's a wickedly cool scar.

I think that's it. I warned you guys it was a long post... :)

Sinus infection 1, day 72

2009-09-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm neck deep in my first sinus infection post surgery... my surgeon warned me they would probably be reoccuring this winter because of the movement of my upper jaw up into my sinus cavity or whatever... Ouch! It's still not very comfortable to sneeze or blow my nose (the pressure is freaky and I can feel the pressure expand in the front bones of my upper jaw behind my front teeth) and it's yucky. It's a really nasty one, too - I called my surgeon today but didn't get ahold of the office in time to get the prescription today. Hopefully tomorrow. I have no voice at all (great for being a teacher).

I don't know if I mentioned this, but it's weird - I have a "warning" button inside my body. For some reason, when I begin to overdo it, the bones behind my front teeth in my upper jaw start to throb. Once the throbbing starts, I have maybe a half hour to stop doing whatever I'm doing before the exhaustion becomes unbearable - however, this throbbing often starts during 5th period when I've got planning and time to breathe (and still have another period left, plus after school work). This week I ended up taking a nap at school because I was too tired to drive home. Whoa.

I'm freakishly puffy from the infection, exhausted beyond belief from school starting, and had my hair up in clips during school today so it looks funny now... but new pictures 'cause it's been a while. Freakisly puffy again, though. ARGH. And things were getting so cute. I look like a puffer fish.

Oh yeah!! 15 popsicle sticks now. Working on it, working on it, working on it, working on it. :)

oh. good. LORD (day 65)

2009-09-03T18:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, thought I might be ready for teaching. Thought wrong. It's weird - when I get overtired my upper jaw from my sinuses into my teeth starts to ACHE. Unfortunately it starts to ache sometime in 4th period and I still have 2 classes to teach and my planning to get through.

Good grief, this is rough. Why is it taking me so long to freaking heal? Shouldn't this be stinking over by now?!? I'm frustrated, if you didn't get that.

And I'm over the attention, now. I'm over the comments and the discussions about my face. I know people mean well but most people don't know what to say so they say something half-awkward and half-insulting and I never know how to respond. Argh. And poor middle-schoolers have no tact. I sure love them, though. My kids are awesome.

Day 61

2009-08-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

I got 13 popsicle sticks today! It's my new record - and once I get one more, I'll officially have doubled my ROM from the first day of physical therapy. However, I have a wretched headache today that just won't go away. With the years of taking ibuprofen and sodium naproxen and tylenol and muscle relaxants and other random painkillers for my jaw/headaches, I am really trying to detox and not take anything. I'll take something if it gets too bad (it's not a migraine), but I'd really rather not. These funny pictures are my physical therapy exercises - I look so funny :)

That's about it - I am less swollen today, so below are current pictures. Now that I'm getting more feeling/ control over my lips, here's a picture of my occlusion - beautiful, eh? You can also see the little 'bite pillows' on my lower front two teeth. These have really improved my quality of life. My teeth still haven't recovered from that damned mouthwash right after surgery - but they are slowly getting less brown. Once these braces are off my teeth I'm going straight to the dentist to get them bleached :)

back to the real world [day 60]

2009-08-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Life is slowly becoming normal around here. I still have a very narrow opening - I can stretch it up to 12 popsicle sticks now, but it hurts. A lot. I don't like it. My goal is to hit 13 tomorrow, as I've been able to get 12 in last night and today. I dread the popsicle sticks. DREAD. My jaw hurts all the time again now, and I get headaches - NOT migraines, just headaches - after I do my physical therapy stuff. Still no migraines.

I can chew soft things now, and am starting to chew things like bread - chewing is complicated by the lack of height in my bite right now - it's hard to maneuver food in there. Things are going slow and frustrating - I keep overdoing it with the hip without thinking about it - went clamming last weekend and the long walks on the beach REALLY strained it, and then I went to a swing dance last week and danced just a few songs. The swing dance wasn't fun at ALL - too many elbows and swinging arms. I kept picturing one flying into my face (and it's happened before!).

It was a really weird week, as I went back to school for staff days. With the drastic changes in my hair and losing the glasses AND the face, most people said they didn't recognize me at first and had to do a double take. One teacher I walked in with (talking to the whole way) didn't have a CLUE who I was until I took off my sunglasses in the building. It's really awkward, as after I tell them I had jaw surgery they don't really know what to say - I mean, I don't exactly know what I'D say in that position. I don't like the attention, though.

Feeling is coming back slowly but surely all over. Except for the point of my chin, I have no areas with COMPLETE numbness anymore. The newest weird thing is when I drink cold liquids I don't get the cold sensation on the inside of my lower lip, instead I feel it on the outside all down my chin - so I think I'm dripping down my face. I can't feel if food is stuck on my chin at all except in small places, which gets pretty embarrassing around people I'm not close with - I become paranoid with the napkins.

My swelling continues to hang around, and I don't feel like taking a picture today (I feel really swollen). Maybe if tomorrow's a better day I'll post one for you guys.

I know I'm in this for the long haul now and changes will be slow coming, but I'm starting to feel quite discouraged with progress lately. It's so annoying not to be able to open my mouth. It's annoying to not feel my face. It's annoying to have my jaw hurt. My speech is still a little unclear - and I start teaching on Wednesday of this week. Speaking for short bits in front of my staff this week was SO terrible - I feel like the louder I speak, the more slurred it becomes. And I've got big classes. I called the disability office (HAH!) in my school district and am working on getting some sort of wireless microphone system for the first few months, but they never sent me the paperwork - I'm calling again Monday morning because I'm really concerned.

I think I may have worked my last shift at Starbucks today, also - I am taking the first three weeks off of school already to prepare and heal and get some more energy back, but I need to come back that 4th week otherwise I'm separated from the company. And even though my energy levels are getting better and better still - I'm not even CLOSE to having EXTRA energy, and working Starbucks and teaching at the same time last year wore me out anyway. I love Starbucks, and it breaks my heart that I might have to leave. I know I can always come back, but I'll really miss my store family and I'm sad to miss the holiday season - it's by far my favorite during the year.

Whew, that was a long one. I'll see about posting more pictures soon.

Week 7 [okay, day 50]

2009-08-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

I'm a day late, but it's been a big week for me. I finally did get the haircut and the contacts. I had a fantastic orthodonitst appointment today. I've been knitting up a storm and ignoring the fact that school starts in just two weeks from today. AND, I got a new car today!! (Well, not new - used. An '03 Kia Rio!)

My jaw hurts a lot now from those damned physical therapy exercises - I didn't even do them yesterday because it was bugging me so much. My jaw is also back to clicking and popping, which is a bummer - but still no migraines!! My physical therapy exercises right now are just putting my hands between my upper and lower jaw and forcing my jaw to open wider than it wants to - and hold it for 60 seconds at a time. Then I put pressure on my lower jaw and push it to the right (hold for 60 seconds, switch sides). I measure the progress in popsicle sticks, since a ruler isn't so accurate when done by myself. I range from 7-8 every morning to 10 at night now. I never keep the progress I make during the day, which is really frustrating! (The worst part? Once I can open my mouth wide enough I'm supposed to squish a squash/paddleball in half, stuff it between my teeth, and then release it to stretch the jaw out. OMG!!!)

My teeth still look awesome - so says the orthodontist. They are really pleased with my progress - I get shown off a lot whenever I go in. Today they didn't recognize me at first with the new hair and new face. They are allowing me to leave off the front rubber bands during the day - but I still have to wear the side ones at all times except for when eating. I get a new wire next time - and it's about time! I have annoying gaps forming in between my rear molars - which are really hard to get food out of because my mouth only opens 14mm!! OH! And you know how my teeth are hitting my brackets? It's apparently normal, but not as hard as I'm hitting them. So I have funny little cushions on my bottom brackets now until they can reposition them and put some "bite turbos" on (whatever they are) at my next appointment - Sept. 29th.

I'm chewing a bit. Not a lot. It feels WEIRD, and I don't like it.

I think that's it for week 7 - pictures!! (A disclaimer - I had just ridden in my Miata for the last time, with the top down, right before the day 50 pics... so my cute hair doesn't look so cute). Hah.

ouch! [day 46]

2009-08-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

My bite is shifting like crazy. I'm telling myself not to panic. I noticed it a few days ago - maybe Thursday after my surgeon appointment. I noticed that I was REALLY biting down on my bottom braces with my front teeth and that my back teeth were open again - like they were a few weeks ago prior to getting the side rubber bands. It's just getting worse and worse.

It hurts quite a bit now. I'll call my orthodontist on Monday morning to get an appointment, but the feeling is coming into my upper teeth as well as my lower teeth now, so it's hardcore uncomfortable at all times, and hurts when my jaw goes to rest now.

Jaw exercises are going well, despite being terribly painful. I could only fit 7 huge popsicle sticks in my mouth on Thursday, and I'm already easily up to 10 as of tonight.

well, poop [day 44]

2009-08-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Today's appointment sucked a bit.

I don't get to take my front bands off - the orthodontist now controls rubber bands, and I don't see him until the 19th. I don't get to play any instrument (wind OR high string) for a MINIMUM of 6 more weeks. I don't get to chew. I got WICKEDLY PAINFUL physical therapy exercises. I'm apparently behind in the healing process - my opening is only 14mm (compared to 48/50mm pre-surgery). I don't have even enough of an opening to actually start said wickedly painful physical therapy exercises - I just have to stretch my jaw out for an hour a day. AN HOUR.

I mean, it was good to hear everything else is going well. I'm still swollen [it's not just me being crazy]. If I get a sinus infection I'm supposed to call her right away for antibiotics, apprently upper jaw surgery patients are pretty high-risk for infection for the year post surgery.

Energy! [Day 43]

2009-08-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it was today, but I had a little ENERGY! Hurray! I woke up at a semi-decent hour (okay, 9:30am) for my eye exam, then took myself out to breakfast, went knitting for a few hours and finished my first hat, grocery shopped, got an oil change, and worked on cleaning my living room! Now it's 8pm and I'm not a big lump of Stephanie on the chair. I actually came home after knitting because I usually need rest time before doing evening errands or chores - but I didn't need it!

FanTAStic.

My mom and I were talking today about how obsessive I've become. Usually I don't have much of a one-track mind - I'm pretty scatterbrained. But lately, my thoughts revolve around one of a few things: FOOD, my FACE, and my CHAIR (being tired and waiting to go home to sit in it/ sleep in it). Mostly food.

The things I miss most:
- Straws (still pulling on the stitches - but the stitches are almost gone!)
- Bread / Crackers (oh my GOSH)
- Licking my lips
- Eating at will (not worrying about taking off bands, brushing, rinsing, etc)
- Chewing (of course)
- The letter "F" (not easy to say with these stupid bands)

Things I love:
- PUDDING!
- Greek yogurt and honey
- Fish and Chips

That's about it :) Great day today, finally! Tomorrow is the 6 week checkup with my surgeon.

6 weeks [day 42]

2009-08-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

Nothing much is changing - and that includes the face overall and my energy levels. I could still sleep the day away if that were possible - luckily I've got Starbucks to go to and various errands to do with school getting ready to start in 3 weeks. I still spend a lot of time in my chair, knitting the day away and watching Greys Antomy or my random netflix movies. What's bugging me most about the face these days is the darned chubby cheeks! I've lost almost 20 pounds, but my face looks chubbier than ever. Also, the funny CHEESE!! smile is pretty annoying. Or funny, depending on how you look at it.

I have an appointment with my surgeon on Thursday, where she'll give me physical therapy-type exercises. I'm DYING (okay, slight exaggeration) for these front bands to be taken off - for freedom! When they're on I'm pretty much banded shut, just a bit more flexibility. It's a real pain to talk.

Pictures (no real change). I also put in a picture of that crazy clump of stitches that was underneath my nose/ upper lip - everything feels much better now that they're gone!

day to day [day 39]

2009-08-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

Today I'm having a better face day. I'm not sure why exactly it changes, but does day to day. Swelling goes up and down, my face breaks out and then gets better... Also, a big bunch of stitches fell out behind my upper lip underneath my nose - which were not only stiff and knotted and painful but also inhibited talking and smiling - and now my upper lip is flatter on my face. Dr. Lee mentioned using a special stitch on my upper lip to prevent it from shortening.

Other than my flippant self-image, the only thing I'm really struggling with now days is energy. I have figured out how to eat most of the foods I want to (I have conqured ground buffalo and gravy, turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes, a cinnabon cinnamon roll, a hamburger, big potato wedges, fish and chips among other things). It takes me upwards of 45 minutes to eat anything non-liquid, but it's totally worth it.

But the energy thing? I've worked two shifts at Starbucks and both have wiped me completly. I spent the last two days in my chair sleeping for most of the day. My kitchen was piled high with dishes and fruit flies and I didn't have the energy to do anything about it - luckily my mommy came over today and helped me clean it. The rest of the apartment is a mess as well, but at least it isn't rotting. I was hoping to go to a party of music teachers tonight but cleaning the kitchen has put me back into my chair. This is beyond frustrating, because just 6 weeks ago I was running 3-4 days a week and working out almost daily and teaching full time and playing gigs and working at Starbucks part time... and suddenly I have a good 2-4 hours of working time during a day and the rest is for reading and knitting - anything as long as I'm sitting. Just sitting. It's impossible to get my sleep schedule on track for school when I still need naps during the day.

The upside of all of this no-energy-not-really-digging-the-new-face trouble? I still haven't had another migraine!! 6 weeks and only ONE migraine!! I'm estatic. Excited beyond words. :)

Much love to you all - thanks for the support. It means the world to me.

honesty time [day 36]

2009-08-05T20:07:00.001-07:00

Okay, let's talk about my face. Today for some reason has been a freak-out day, and I'm not exactly sure why. I knew going into surgery that my face would change. I knew it would be shorter. I knew my chin would actually show.

But when I look in the mirror, I don't think I like what I see. When I look in the mirror all I see are those huge cheeks that are a little swollen but not much anymore. All I see is my chin that sticks out so far I think I'm Sarah Palin's stunt double. I feel like the lower half of my face sticks out a mile in front of the upper half.

Okay, that's over. On the schedule for next week: Haircut/ highlight and a makeover somewhere, plus I'm determined to go to the eye doctor and get contacts again. I hate glasses, and have hated glasses since I was 7 and had to get them... I wore contacts from my freshman year of high school all the way through college, but then my eyes began to get irritated just after graduation, so I stopped wearing them and have never had the discipline to start again. Hopefully all of that will help me accept the new face.

Sorry to freak any future jaw-surgery guys out, but that's just where I am right now.

before/ after

5 weeks (Day 35)

2009-08-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

Today was a busy day! I had an orthodontist appointment this morning - everything is still going fine, and I'm keeping my rubberband configuration the same (bummer... I keep hoping to get my front bands off because it'll make talking so much easier).

Quick ortho-geek question: when did you all go back for your first ortho adjustment? Dr. Lee (surgeon) said I'd be released back to Dr. Molen (orthodontist) after my appointment on the 13th with her (so the 19th with Molen)... but Dr. Molen wants to wait until my appointment at the end of September to make sure my "bones are all healed." I know I shouldn't be impatient, but I want these braces off NOW.

Also, today was my first day of work back at Starbucks... it was rough, I'm not going to lie. Luckily it was only four and a half hours. While I thought going back to the gym and getting out for walks would prepare me well, it didn't at all. By the end of the shift my hip was aching, my jaw was aching, I was almost falling asleep on my feet, and I was pretty dizzy. I didn't think about nutrition prior to work, so I ended up having half a packet of oatmeal (couldn't eat it fast enough before work) and then an egg salad sandwich, sans bread and lettuce on my break - which I also wasn't really able to finish. I have to remember the muscle milk on my next shift. Driving home was really tough, I had to take a small break about halfway through because I was worried about falling asleep at the wheel.

It was a bit awkward at work today - I had a bunch of people comment on the rubber bands, a set of regulars ask if I was new, and a lot of people looking at me funny like I look familiar. I know I look different, but I'm not really ready to face it. Every time I look in the mirror it shocks me a bit. I got home and collapsed in my chair for a 3 hour nap, and am already ready to fall back asleep as soon as possible. I tried to resist the nap, but it was impossible.

The good things about this week: I have slept through the night all week, I'm eating solid food for almost all my meals (you'd be surprised what you can swallow whole if cut into small enough pieces), it's getting easier to concentrate, and I'm getting used to talking with the bands. I catch myself breathing through my nose without thinking about it sometimes (prior to surgery I was a mouth breather 100% of the time).

The bad things: I think I've got a sinus infection coming on, and sneezing is quite painful. I am still having problems with muscle spasms in my jaw, which I'll talk to Dr. Lee about next week. My hip seems to have stalled out - it's not worse, but it doesn't seem like it's getting any better. My face is still swollen and doesn't seem to be going down at all anymore (or is it just my new face?). I am still hyper-emotional, it doesn't take much to set me crying. My face seems wooden and is barely expressive - my smile is so cheesy and stiff.

I'm getting a haircut next week. I'm not sure what to do - my face is such a different shape now that I don't know what looks good anymore.

Pictures today aren't as good as usual because Nick's off to training for 2 weeks and I'm by myself again.

Day 31

2009-07-31T16:52:00.000-07:00

Since my workout went so well on Wednesday, I was excited to get back to the gym again yesterday and work a little harder... BIG mistake. I went for 45 minutes and kept the resistance the same, just went a little harder... I didn't really notice how dizzy and sick I was feeling until I got off the bike and almost fell over. I went back to the bike for a few minutes and pretended to read a magazine that was on the floor until I felt good enough to walk to my car, and then spent another 10 minutes in my car waiting until I felt well enough to drive home. Moral of the story: even if it feels good, don't push it. Yikes. I'm going back this evening, but will definitely pay more attention to my body and make sure I stay within my limits.

I keep forgetting to mention it, but I'm finally sleeping through the night regularly. It's been probably 5-6 nights in a row now - wahoo! A lot of this has to do with my lessened dependency on pain killers - I'm down to taking tylenol/ ibuprofen once or twice a day now, instead of every 4-6 hours.

I have much more energy during the days now, I can eat more, I'm in pain much less, and I can concentrate better. I'm still more scatterbrained than normal, but it's starting to come to an end. Thank goodness!

Also, I am so grateful that, as a teacher, I didn't have to rush back into the classroom just 3-4 weeks after surgery. While all of the things (more energy, less pain, more eating) are very true, it still takes me 45 minutes or more to get through a normal (read: non-liquid) meal. I still wear out easily. I can not talk for very long before my jaw starts to get tired and spasm like crazy. I think that in a month from now I'll be much healthier and ready to teach, but I sure wouldn't be right now.

Day 29

2009-07-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

I had my first workout at the gym today. I took it easy, not knowing what to expect but it went really well. I spent 35 minutes on the bike, pretty low resistance. My hip complained for the first 10 minutes or so and then behaved well until the last 5 minutes... I will go back tomorrow, depending on how it feels in the morning.

I am so grateful to be a month out of surgery today - a GIANT heat wave has hit Western Washington, and I can't imagine trying to recover in the oppressing heat - we're talking triple digits! Luckily, since I'm feeling SO much better I'm really enjoying our little tropical heat wave!

I'm still suffering from overdoing it yesterday, so I need to keep that in mind when I go back to Starbucks next week. I'm a talker - and this whole process has been quite frustrating not being able to talk or be understood well. As the swelling has gone down my speech has REALLY improved, but it's still muffled and slurred, especially when I'm tired or sore.

28 days / 1 month

2009-07-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

It has been one month post surgery. Today I took a trip to Ellensburg (my old college town) to meet up with two college friends for dinner. I rode over with a friend - about a 2 hour drive. We ate dinner together (fish and chips again... mmm, but becoming my staple food in restaurants because it's safe), shopped a bit at Fred Meyer, and had ice cream - then we went our separate ways and drove back. All in all, probably 9 hours of talking and being out - holy crud! By the time I got home my jaw was a bit swollen and my joints ached terribly... I was dizzy again, too. It was worth it, though :)

Next week I start back at Starbucks doing short 4 hour shifts. I'm starting back at the gym tomorrow, hoping to get my energy level back up by biking - walking is still a bit painful and it takes a lot out of my hip (at this point, somewhere between mile 2 and 3 walking my muscles start to freeze up and my hip starts to ache). I'm thinking that biking will help strengthen and stretch the muscles in a different, non-weight bearing way. I drove for the first time a few days ago, as well - I have avoided it this long because I've been struggling with dizzy spells and I feel awfully spaced out all the time, despite leaving the oxycodone behind over a week and a half ago.

I wore jeans for the first time today - I put a bandage over the incision on my hip to pad it, but was still pretty uncomfortable. Tomorrow is back to the sweats. Boo.

It's been a long road to get here, but SO worth it - I still have not had another migraine! In an ENTIRE MONTH, I've had ONE small migraine that was gone in a few hours. I am so grateful and awestruck by this lack of pain in my head.

Pictures - I really haven't been noticing day-to-day changes, so it was sure nice to see the major difference in the three-week versus four-week photos. Hurray!!

Day 25

2009-07-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

I'm FINALLY starting to feel semi-normal again. I only took tylenol/ ibuprofen once today. I am finding more and more foods that work with the soft chew diet - I can eat fish and chips with some modifications and lots of tartar sauce. Last night Nick made what he called 'swiss steak' - ground buffalo meat with gravy and mashed potatoes - it was awesome! Pudding, soup, and muscle milk are still creating a good share of my diet, but I try to have normal food at least one a day.

I was able to take the tape off of my hip yesterday and it has definitely improved movement and walking. It feels a little more tender to the touch, but not as bound together. Hopefully it'll make improvements fast and I'll be back into JEANS!

Numbness is a pretty big issue for me. I am getting tingling in the roof of my mouth but have no feeling. My chin has no feeling at all. The right corner of my mouth and up into a third of my right upper lip has no feeling. My bottom lip has limited numbness - I can feel when something's touching it but not 100%. My gums are completely numb on the upper jaw, also, but starting to come back (irritated) on the bottom. I can feel my bottom teeth, but not my top teeth. Odd - but improving.

Still truckin!

Day 23

2009-07-23T23:29:00.000-07:00

I saw my surgeon today in Seattle. It was a very short appointment. She looked at my teeth, asked me to bite, asked if I could deal with the same rubber band configuration for the next three weeks. (Darn it! I was really hoping to get the front bands off, as they're what is really preventing me from talking normally, and they cause the most stares and double-takes at this point in public). We discussed my spasm/ pain problems and it's perfectly normal - I can leave my rubber bands off for a few hours to help with this, and if it's still bothering me in 3 weeks we can talk muscle relaxant to help. She peeked at my hip, told me the tape that's still on there can come off (hurray!) and I was OUT.

We went to one of my favorite restaurants, World Wrapps, and I was able to eat my favorite burrito (in bowl form, of course)... it had rice with a wasabi vinaigrette, salmon, and avocado! It has other stuff, but that's all I could get down. YUMMY! And I ate in public, and it wasn't terribly embarrassing - just a little. I'm still using the baby spoon as no other utensil fits in my mouth, I have to mush down bites with my fingers, half the time the bite is too big anyway and ends up back on the plate or on my chin (which I can't feel)... I feel like a toddler :)

The hip is still preventing me from wearing "normal" pants comfortably, and I am tired of going out in public in the same two identical pairs of pants, so my mom took me shopping for a few pairs of black pants that look SLIGHTLY less like sweatpants. They're not great, and I miss my jeans :(

I then went to a pool party with a bunch of my favorite starbucks employees (didn't swim, but hung out and talked)... I didn't make it all the way through because it'd been a long, long day and I was exhausted. In fact, I got home around 4:15... ate, brushed, and slept until past 10. Now, once again, I am awake and there goes the sleep schedule I had tried to put myself on... but eh, it was worth it to get OUT.

As my incisions are beginning to heal, I am losing range of motion and height in my jaw. Argh! The stitches in the back of my mouth where the lower jaw connects to the upper jaw are really sore and they pull when I open my mouth as far as it can go. Just last week I could fit my baby toothbrush in to brush the bite surfaces of the teeth - today I can't quite get it in there comfortably. Ah, well. Dr. Lee said at the next appointment we'd start working on ROM and stretching (she didn't say anything about chewing but LORDY am I hoping!!).

Three weeks down!

2009-07-21T21:32:00.001-07:00

My first stitch fell out today! Hurray!! I was brushing my teeth and noticed that one of the stitches was hanging down really low, so I went to move it and it just fell into my hand! Hurray! Hurray! And, like always, just as I complain about how bad everything hurts, I get some relief today. My hip has come a long ways in the past two days - the only thing holding me back is the incision healing now - it is unwilling to stretch out, which makes walking down hills and down stairs uncomfortable. But the muscles seem to be back where they're supposed to go! Must be thanks to all that walking I've been doing!

Some nerves must be regenerating in my face and in the roof of my mouth - I have crazy itching in my chin - and I go to scratch it and I can't feel anything and the feeling is gone. Kooky. And the roof of my mouth kind of feels like it's on fire. It doesn't hurt much, but it's really, really odd.

One thing that has me slightly worried (not TOO much) is my overbite is starting to come back a little bit, which I think is why my jaw has been hurting so much. I used to bite down straight on my lower braces (ouch, as well), but now I don't quite get there. I'm not terribly worried about a relapse at this point, and I'm sure it can be fixed with different rubber bands... but I was hoping to lose the front rubber bands at my next appointment - as they are the most noticeable and the ones that make my speech unclear.

On a closing note... I really, REALLY need to stop watching the food network. I'm dying. :)

Oh! And new pictures today (to celebrate week 3 being over). I'm really starting to look like a human again (phew!).

day 20

2009-07-21T03:14:00.001-07:00

No big trip today - in fact, things were pretty uneventful. Still struggling with this constant pain - it's hard to keep a smile on my face when it's always there. Took a nap today and now I'm up until the wee hours of the morning again.

My swelling has still not gone down again - no pictures until then.

Post-op guys (or anyone else)... do you have recommendations for skin care products? My poor, poor skin is panicking like no other - and it seems my light foaming cleanser and scrub are not up to par for this level of hell.

Have an appointment with the oral surgeon on Thursday - can't wait :)

realizations on day 19

2009-07-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

Some notes for y'all...

If you don't drink water, you will swell up like CRAZY again - I've seriously regressed with days worth of swelling - it kind of hurts in my cheeks (now you know why I'm not posting a picture today... argh swelling).
Despite blended up pizza toppings being delicious, they are very high in fat and therefore may upset your stomach in terrible, terrible ways. Oh, man. 6 hours later, I'm still sick.
While getting feeling back in your cheeks is awesome, suddenly I can feel all of the darned brackets and hooks poking me. Darn it!
Almost anything can be swallowed whole if you cut it into small enough pieces... for example, today I had a pancake, half a sausage link, and an egg at a diner! I ate in public. It wasn't terrible.

That is all for day 19... last night was yet another night of being up until daylight and then sleeping and then waking and then sleeping... I managed to not take a nap today (sheer will and chair avoidance) so I'm hoping I'll get some sleep tonight.

My brother in law and his family are in town from Oklahoma, and we're driving to Shelton to see them tomorrow - it'll be my first trip post-surgery! Hurray!

late night postings (day 18ish)

2009-07-19T01:42:00.000-07:00

As I can't sleep, I thought I'd post my thoughts on the past few weeks.

I'm 2 and a half weeks post surgery and things are coming along well. I've had a painful couple of days due to muscle spasms - my joints are REALLY fighting my new rubber bands from my orthodontist. The worst part about the muscle spasms is I keep biting my tongue! Poor tongue.

The feeling is coming back into my face and chin, and my chin swelling is really starting to go down (thank GOD, as I was starting to look like Sarah Palin, and that's not exactly what I signed up for here). My cheeks are still puffy, but almost getting to the point now that no one but close friends/ family would notice.

It's a little freaky for me to look in the mirror these days. It's not that I don't like what I see - I think it's amazing that my profile isn't concave anymore - I think it's great that I have a chin and that my jawline actually looks strong... I don't mind the changes in my nose, and I LOVE that my smile isn't gummy anymore. It's neat that my face isn't so long. However, when I look in the mirror it just feels so... weird. It's not really me, except for it IS me. All of the changes are good, it's just going to take some getting used to.

One of the things that bothers me is the lack of sleep. Okay, not really lack of sleep as I'm probably sleeping 12 hours a day, but more the lack of a sleep schedule. I don't sleep for more than a few hours at a time. So... last night I fell asleep at 5am (bad pain), was awake from around 8-9am, fell back asleep until after noon. Fell asleep around 7pm and slept until midnight, and now I'm awake and it's past 2am. I try not to nap, but it really just makes me hurt worse and become cranky and emotional.

Speaking of emotional, the random crying is SO annoying! My poor husband. Just yesterday I was starving (like usual) and looking for something to eat but NOTHING sounded good and I was so frustrated that I just started to cry. I miss food! I've been tired of soup for a year now and am still forced to eat it. Pretty much, I'm desperate for new tastes and have resorted to swallowing things whole that I really shouldn't - for instance, today's tuna melt. I convinced Nick to make me the fillings of a tuna melt and that I could eat it - when really, after it cooled just slightly it was NOT meant to be swallowed whole - scraped up my throat, I kept choking... but it didn't stop me. :) I could have blended it, but that would have defeated the purpose - I wanted real food!! Today I also got some Haggen Daaz mint chip ice cream, but the chips are pretty big and I really wore my jaw out trying to maneuver them on my tongue to melt before I swallowed them.

I took my longest walk today yet! Probably a mile all told - we walked down to the 7-11 to mail our netflix back (no outgoing mail at our apartment complex) and got ice cream. I was exhausted afterwards, but it was really nice to get moving outside - and to GO somewhere instead of winding around our trashy apartment complex. My hip is sore, but feels better and better every day. I'm working on not limping at all when I walk, because I find that I limp almost automatically now - and the muscles aren't being stretched out and used at all. The weather is BEAUTIFUL here in western Washington right now, and I have to soak it up while I can!

I sneezed for the first time yesterday, and once more today. It was terrifying... after the first sneeze I felt around my jaw to make sure nothing had detached, but I survived okay! Again, very weird feeling.

Well... I think my marathon post has gone on long enough. Overall, I can't believe how easy this process has been. I know I complain a lot and it hurts and it was horrifying in the first week... but sheesh! Just 18 days ago I was on a operating room table with my face peeled back (sorry) and my jaws being cut apart and put back together and my hip bone was cut into. I can speak with decent clarity, I can eat, I can walk... The human body is an incredible, incredible thing :)

Night!

Day 17

2009-07-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

Missed a day yesterday, and I think I'll be missing more days in the future. Things are improving day today, but it's all happening slowly now. I look pretty much the same as I did a few days ago.

I slept (well, should say "slept") my first night without my prescription painkillers last night - but will not be doing so tonight. My pain seems to be worse in the evening, probably because of talking and eating during the day. I can control my pain for the most part during the day with tylenol and ibuprofen, but it's hard to sleep with that nagging, pulling pain.

I've been talking about this to a few people lately, but this whole process still feels surreal. I haven't gotten a full nights sleep since before the surgery, and while this has gotten a LOT better (I only wake up 2-3 times a night, as opposed to every hour, on the hour), it kind of feels like it's been one long day from July 1st to now. I wake up with shooting pains in my ear or just below my ear, or my teeth that are being used to band my jaw shut start singing loudly.

With the new rubberbands my orthodontist gave me I'm really having problems with muscle spasms, as well - suddenly my jaw will just start to move on it's own - it's terribly freaky. And painful.

Okay, enough pain. It sounds like all I do is complain on here! I have been getting much more mobile. Going out of the apartment still wears me out, but my walks are becoming longer and easier. I am back up to speed on reading - for a while I was so spaced out that I would read a paragraph or a sentence and just space out or fall asleep with the book open in my hands... then wake up/ snap out of it and repeat it over and over again. Eating has become much easier, and Nick made mac 'n' cheese tonight with some kid pasta rings - tiny, tiny rings that I didn't need to chew.

Well, I think that's it. Pictures for today:

Day 15, orthodontist today

2009-07-15T23:01:00.001-07:00

I went to the orthodontist today and it was really fun to see everyone. My orthodontists and assistants and coordinators were really happy to see me - and I was happy to see them!

Everything looks good, but they added a set of rubber bands from my back molars to my upper posts - lame! I was getting used to talking with the front rubber bands, but now I'm shut closed again. I shouldn't complain too much, as just a few days ago I was begging for more rubber bands to stabilize my jaw AND these are making my rear teeth closed (they weren't touching at all), but I'm complaining anyway. They're really strong rubber bands, too.

Nick, being the wonderful husband that he is, brought home delicious Indian food with extra sauce - I blended the heck out of all of it and added some rice and it was delicious. Two nights in a row with a full stomach - I'm in heaven!! And the best part about blending it all? Indian food is so saucy and well-cooked that my blended up food still resembled the original food, unlike the tacos of last night that looked like cat food. Yum yum yum!

My skin is starting to do the post-surgery freak out. I'm breaking out all over the place - especially where my skin was so swollen. Also, Stephanie SJP said that she saw the surgeon spread iodine cleaner over the jaw surgery patient's face... which can't be helping my sensitive skin.

Numbness isn't really going anywhere. I'm trying to move my face as much as possible, hoping to wake up some of the nerves and muscles. It's odd. I have no feeling at all on the roof of my mouth, my upper gums or teeth, and the corners of my upper lip. My lower lip is pretty numb but very tingly and burning. No feeling at ALL in my chin. However, my cheeks have almost completely come back, and the middle of my upper lip is doing well - which really makes eating and drinking easier.

Swelling isn't really moving... bummer. My cheeks are still giant, as is my chin. My smile is looking less like a 3rd grader "CHEESE!!!!!" smile, though, which is nice. And my profile sure looks good - I have a chin!

Day 14, down some more

2009-07-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

What a crappy day. Lots of pain - especially in my hip again! I think that as I need fewer and fewer painkillers for my jaw/face issues, I can feel my hip more. It's pretty nasty. It is my understanding that they had to move some muscles aside to get to the bone, and that's mostly what is causing my pain. I don't know, I just know it's really difficult to walk without a limp and I'm really wanting to get to long walks to get my energy up but it's difficult with this blasted hip.

Nick and I are geeks and really wanted to see the new Harry Potter at midnight but I just wasn't feeling up to it. It's almost a 3 hour movie, and we wouldn't have gotten home till close to 4 and that's just too much for me right now.

I had the BEST meal so far tonight. I've been craving food that's NOT sweet and NOT soup - so Nick and I went to our favorite taco wagon and bought 4 little chicken soft tacos and some rice and beans and blended up the insides of the tacos with some chicken broth- it was delicious! I could eat the rice and beans without blending, too - it was nice! Sadly, all of my food looks the same these days - kind of like cat food. Not appetizing looking, I'll give you - but delicious! Tomorrow Nick's going to pick up some food from our favorite Indian restaurant. Can't wait to blend that up!!

Not much change today - in fact, I feel a little more swollen than I did yesterday. Who knows.

Day 13, down again

2009-07-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

What a rollercoaster I'm on. While today wasn't as bad as many days have been in the past, it wasn't a very good day. I couldn't really get enough to eat and was pretty hungry all day, and I couldn't quite get the pain down today which is really frustrating.

When I'm talking about pain, I'm not talking about excruciating terrible pain. My sutures are painful - always kind of humming. My joint is always stiff and sore. The teeth that are being used to band me shut are sore from the constant tension on the rubber bands. My bottom lip kind of feels like it has a sunburn, I'm not sure why. So, in total, nothing is really TERRIBLE - it's just the constant buzz of it that wears me down - today more than yesterday.

Still only that one slight migraine in the entire 13 days. This has been such a fantastic change - my quality of life has been so different already - I am so excited!

I feel like I'm already getting more height in my jaw opening - I had no idea what to expect so I'll post a picture here. When my jaw first opened at the surgeon's office (when they de-banded me for the first time) it barely opened - much smaller than this. I have not been forcing it open in any way, but I think the joint is starting to become more mobile than it used to be. Anyway, the picture here is how far my jaw can currently open.

Pictures for today:

Day 12

2009-07-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

Day 12 rocked my socks again. I'm finally starting to look and feel like myself. I still have very little energy - a trip to the store wipes me out, eating a full meal wipes me out, pretty much doing anything other than sitting wipes me out. I'm hoping to start going for walks soon to get some of it back. My hip is finally starting to feel more normal (though, the insicion is CRAZY! It's probably 3 inches long) and is easier to walk on - so time to start getting out there!

Finally weighed myself today... almost 10 pounds down. I'm disappointed at myself - I thought I was doing so much better at getting calories in! It'll all come back once I can start eating again, and it's probably all that muscle I had built up to run my half marathon. Argh!

Feeling is coming back in my face except for my chin and mouth area. My bottom lip is really bothering me - it just sits there, and is sitting lower than it used to so it's being annoyed by my braces quite a lot.

The pain in my jaw has decreased a lot. I get terrible, terrible shooting pains when I try to close my teeth together (which I do in my sleep and that wakes me up - ow!), but for the most part my jaw doesn't feel so unstable anymore - which is a huge relief!

Eating has been going so well! I really recommend the Magic Bullet blender - not because it's an amazing blender that can blend anything in three pulses (HA!), but because it's so darned convenient. It is a good little blender and all of the cups have been really nice for me - I blend up whatever soup I want to drink, throw it in the microwave, and can drink it without getting another bowl dirty. It's easy to clean, too. Fantastic. Today I ate cheesecake filling (bought from the store) blended up with fresh strawberries - it was SO GOOD! Made my day (for real, that's all it takes).

Okay, pictures for today (no more bruise pictures because they're pretty much gone now):

Day 11 was a bit better again

2009-07-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Day 11 had a little less pain than yesterday, and I only woke up 3 times last night so I had some extra sleep under my belt.

I am getting much better at eating, and my mom and I bought a new set of baby spoons that really makes things easier - they're less thick and hold a little more food. My jaw is a little less uncomfortable, so that helps because I have a little more time to get food down before I need the bands back on. The BEST part of losing the bands has been the shift from liquid medication to pills... not only is it less expensive, but MAN are those liquid medications terrible.

My mom took me shopping today to Target and Safeway and then to get some frozen custard at a local stand and I was WIPED afterwards - I had to have a nap. Riding in a car used to be really uncomfortable but riding around today wasn't too bad.

I ate a blended up corn chili bisque and a tomato basil bisque today - both of which were really filling. While I've spent a good portion of my adult life looking at nutrition levels, it's never been to get as MANY calories and nutrients as possible before... today I passed up a few soups that sounded good because they just didn't have enough calories, and I want to HEAL quickly. I am also loving rice pudding. Still using muscle milk to get some additional calories.

Anyway, I'm looking more and more like myself. The bruising is going down and the swelling is, as well - my smile looks SO FUNNY still, and my chin and cheeks are still pretty puffy. It's so weird looking at my face.

Day 11 pics:

Day 10 wasn't so good

2009-07-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

Like I said in yesterday's post, I miss my bands. My jaw just doesn't feel right without them - and it's quite painful without them. Is this common?

Day 10 has been filled with a lot of pain (all taken care of with tylenol and ibuprofen, but only just). I didn't sleep all night last night because my jaw was unable to find a stable, comfortable position to rest - just one painful one after another. Once I got my husband's favorite pillow that's flat and mushy it helped a little. Also, heat has helped a little.

Eating is still very frustrating. I'm able to eat mush but am still mostly relying on the liquid diet to get the majority of my calories - I just finish up each "meal" with "eating" and "brushing"... all of which is fairly unsuccessful. Argh.

PS. And the inappropriate crying? It's getting annoying. :)

Day 10 pictures

Day 9

2009-07-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

Had my first post-op appointment with Dr. Lee today. We did x-rays and she says my x-rays are "textbook" (and that's a quote!). Hurray! They took off most of the bands, leaving just two in a similar configuration up front. I LOVED to brush my teeth (gosh, that tounge was getting yucky) but I can't really brush the surfaces of the teeth where the teeth meet, as my jaw can't open that wide yet.

I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I just want my bands back. My jaw feels all unstable and there's no really good place to bite down and my front teeth are hitting my bottom braces brackets (WEIRD!) and it's all very uncomfortable. As much as it was lame to be on a liquid diet, this is just not comfortable.

I ate mashed potatoes and gravy today for my first "meal" and it was good... my jaw was extremely tired afterwards and my stomach wasn't quite sure what to do with all that food. My mom took me to get a hot fudge sundae from DQ in the evening but I only took a few bites before wanting the bands back on... I'll eat it another day.

The swelling is going down more and more each day, though I still don't really look like myself - I went into the Starbucks I stop at in the mornings on the way to school to pick up my markout and they asked me "hey, where do you work?" even though they TOTALLY know me.

The pictures for today (I'm starting to look HUMAN again!)

Day 8

2009-07-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

Day 8 was a bit rough - I had a bad coughing fit (I think my husband is getting sick) and my jaw kind of spasmed out of place and then snapped back with the bands and it killed me. I was crying and curled up in a ball and back on Demerol for the first time in a few days... Had my first migraine since after surgery (which is AMAZING), but it went away overnight once the jaw calmed back down.

Did you guys hear that? I've gone 9 days and only had a migraine for a few hours. Hallelujah.

Day 8 pics:

Day 7 - feeling fantastic and PICTURES!

2009-07-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Pictures attached to old entries now...

Everything has completely turned around from days 2-5. Day 5 was by far the worst of all - but now my pain has gone down (I'm only taking demerol at night, it helps me sleep). My swelling is starting to go down - which is where a lot of my pain was coming from. My only pain now is really in my lower teeth, which are fighting being banded shut and my incisions, which kind of pull and sting. My jaw gets tired and sore when I talk too much - but it's easier to understand me today.

My mom took me to the store yesterday and Nick and I went to a store in the mall today. With the impressive bruising and swelling, I got quite a few outright stares.

Well, not much to say today. Feeling good (finally). Thursday I have my first appointment back with my surgeon - hurray! I think Nick said that when she called she said I would get a lot of the bands off on Thursday and could start eating more solid food... hurray!

Day 7 pics:

Day 6 - finally a little better :)

2009-07-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

Whew! After all of that pity-poo-party time, things are doing much better. Day 6 is feeling fantastic! :)

My surgeon's office called today and told Nick I need to be moving around more, so we took an extra-long walk outside (read: 5 minutes?). It was nice. I'll take another one with my mom or Heidi when they visit later. The hip is really slowing me down, but I can't let it keep me sitting. I'm much less likely to think of the pain when I'm not sitting, if nothing else.

Breathing is a little easier today. I think my swelling is going down just a tad... but it's enough that it's taking a little pressure off of that darned swollen nostril. The tickle has magically disappeared from the back of my throat.

Nick made me tomato soup and a peach smoothie and it was heaven last night - I literally almost cried when I ate the soup, it tasted so good! I'm pretty tired of muscle milk and broth, but those have been the easiest things to get in.

In other eating news, I am almost completely off the syringe and drinking out of cups! I have four little sippy cups that have really thick lips on them, so I can manage to drink without spilling TOO much - the quantity of food that I'm able to get in is much more satisfying before I get worn out.

So... the sad news is that our friend never made it over to fix our computer. I'm going to ask my friend Heidi to bring hers over tomorrow and see if I can load pictures up to her computer and post them that way. You guys have GOT to see this bruising/ swelling - it's freaking fantastic.

Much love, guys. Thanks for your support - without you telling me it'd get better, I don't know what I would have done!! Hurray!!

Day 6 Pics:

Day 5 - it gets better from here, right?

2009-07-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Be forewarned: Pity party time!

I can't breathe. I am spending my entire life right now concentrating on taking a breath in... and then releasing it. Taking a breath in... then releasing it. Things are helping (thanks, guys) but nothing is making it MUCH better. It's just terrifying - I feel like I'm going to drown.

I had no idea that swelling could actually cause pain, but it sure can! It is so uncomfortable that I feel like screaming (or, mmppphhhhiiing!). I go between the jaw wrap and the ice to no jaw wrap to hospital jaw wrap with ice... Nothing really makes anything feel better but at night I like the large chin to be supported (how DOES Jay Leno do it?).

I am tired of this chair, despite how crazy comfortable it is - I want to be out of it, I want to be walking but the hip really puts a damper on those wants. I can get across the apartment a few times before it just becomes too much and I have to sit down again - I have read that movement can help swelling go down so I'm going to try to buck it up today and take a walk after the next pain medicine dose.

I have this constant tickle in the back of my throat that chokes me and gags me to no end, but there's NO WAY to get it out of there. Well, except cough, which I've been doing a lot of but OW. Also I've half convinced myself I've ruined my left nasal passage forever - in one incredible coughing fit last night I managed to shoot stuff out of that nostril - therefore blowing my nose, which I am not allowed to do. No air has passed through that nostril since then. Yuck.

I can't seem to get enough food, either. I feel like I'm "eating" all day (sipping from a cup and using the syringes, the zip-n-squeeze seemed like too much food all at once for me), yet I'm never full and never even relatively satisfied. I want a milkshake, but with all my phleghm issues I'm sure that's a bad idea. A BAD idea.

Finally, I really miss talking. I can kind of mumble, but it tires my jaw out something fierce and really makes for some sore joints. I have the white board and some funny version of charades, but that's it (my husband entertains himself by making up funny requests to my motions... which is endlessly entertaining to him).

On top of all my freaking outs? Our apartment manager left us a note on the door yesterday telling us our power would be out for most of the day Monday. Excuse me?! I need ice. I need my anti-biotics to be refrigerated. I need my humidifier. I want my fan. And I'm not doing so well at reading stuff - I read about a paragraph, space out, read another paragraph, space out...

Okay. I know ACADEMICALLY that it gets better from here. This first week is the worst. I can hang on. I can do this. But MAN it sure sucks right now :(

Day 5 pics:

Day 4

2009-07-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

Post surgery folk, help me out. This breathing thing is starting to freak me out a tad - at one point last night I had panicked myself into thinking I might drown in my own snot. Obviously, I didn't, and by some miracle I slept for over 5 hours straight, but this morning I'm still feeling uncomfortable.

Breathing through the mouth, of course, not on option - though it was one I employed a bit too much last night and ended up with some crazy jaw strain/pain. My left nostril is still swollen to all eternity and barely passable when I'm NOT bleeding from there (which I still am, off and on). So pretty much, my trusty right nostril is pulling overtime and getting tired.

I've got a humidifier going and that really helps (though heats up the room and it's HOT here in the pacific northwest right now). I've tried q-tips dipped in hydrogen peroxide/water... I have Afrin, but can only use it twice a day. Any suggestions?

Other than that whole debacle, things are doing pretty well. I got in a little bit over my head with pain last night - I'm starting to realize that once it really starts to hurt it's almost impossible to get it to come down. Just have to keep on pain meds. My jaw bra is helping - and I think just as much as for support and compression than the ice.

I'm getting funny twinges, already. My favorite is the vibrating sensation - it literally feels like a small little portion of my face is vibrating like mad - but then I throw my hand up there to figure it out, and nothing's actually happening. Just nerves regenerating, doing their thing. I'm really, really numb still - pretty much my entire face from the eyeballs downward. I have weird pockets where I can feel as the drool passes them by, but that's about it.

Finally took a shower this morning - it was kind of a production as Nick and I had to tape up the hip (which is it's own spectacular bruise that none of you will ever see, but it's fantastic!) dressing and get my weak butt into the shower, but I sure feel better now that it's over.

And, naptime...

Day 4 pictures:

Surgery Day!

2009-07-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic surgery day thanks to the amazing, amazing staff at Swedish Hospital in Seattle. No kidding - I was never really nervous! We had to be there around 8:45, and managed to arrive there at the exact time as my mom, who was coming from Shelton. I checked in and spent maybe 10 minutes in the waiting room before being taken back to pre-op (sans mommy, but with Nick).

Had to do the pee-in-the-cup pregnancy test and change into my lovely hospital gown, pants, and robe, and slippers. We didn't have to wait terribly long for a nurse to come over and ask me the same million questions I was asked in my pre-surgery interview. She was really cheerful and reassuring, could answer every question I had.

She then had us shipped off to the surgery waiting room, where they started the IV (not a SINGLE problem, despite being dehydrated!). They had comfy recliners for the patients (there are pictures, no worries), and Dr. Lee and her resident Dr. Kelley came over and talked to us, and the anesthesiologist talked to us. Dr. Lee and the anesthesiologist were concerned about my nose - apparently it wasn't really wide enough for me to get sufficient air through it OR for them to get the breathing tube down without lots of bleeding... so Dr. Lee said she was going to widen it. I'm not sure if that meant just on the inside of my nasal passages, or if it'll show on the outside, as well. Either way, I'm grateful for it now as breathing isn't really all that comfortable WITH the wider nose. :)

After a while of waiting, they came over, put my hair into the net, let me kiss Nick goodbye and we were on our way to the surgery room. The room was a lot smaller than I expected, but there were lots of scary looking tools and huge lights and it was FREEZING. We're talking, downright cold as a meat locker! It felt kind of good because I was a little warm from the waiting room, but then they put a "hot air dryer" blanket on me and another blanket above that. I remember staring at the lights, and then nothing - they didn't even warn me that I was going under!! (Hah!)

So... the next thing I remember is pretty funny. It was dark (my eyes were closed but I wasn't really aware of this at the time), and I was trying to figure out why they were taking my blood pressure on both legs instead of my arms... which led me to think... wait... do I have arms?... which led me to think, "Hey! My eyes are closed!" So I opened them and the recovery nurses put my glasses back on. The "blood pressure" things on my legs were really there to keep clots from forming. They kept asking me to breathe because apparently I wasn't getting enough oxygen even with the oxygen going straight into my nose. I drifted in and out and was coughing a lot - I wasn't really aware enough to use the suction tube yet so they were helping me off and on. I don't remember being wheeled up to my room but I do remember having to scoot over from my operating-room bed to my hospital-room bed because my hip hurt for the first time when I had to move it and it shocked me.

My mom and Nick came in just a few minutes later and I was out of it for the next few hours - my grandparents stopped by and Heidi and Fred stopped by, which I remember but I don't really remember what I "said" to them (HURRAY white board!! I would have been really frustrated without it). I was REALLY shocked and scared to be still bleeding - I had a big cough and blood went EVERYWHERE - all over my gown, the bed, my whiteboard, the table... it was a little too much like a slasher-flick-horror movie for my taste. But then the nurse gave me a rag to cough into, so it wasn't so scary the next few times. I kept having to clean out my nose because it would get clogged up with all the dried blood.

I had a rough night - I kept choking on something HUGE in my throat (probably a blood clot) and I was gagging and coughing. The ice that they were keeping on my head felt really heavy and the cold HURT my joints. Whenever they would change out my ice my pain level would take a turn for the worse. I never slept for more than an hour at a time, and it seemed like the night took forever to pass. I was really lucky in that Nick could stay with me the whole night - they even brought him in a cot to sleep on.

That night I was already up to go to the bathroom with Nick's help (the hip was pretty miserable) and I could kind of drink from a cup. The next morning I got to pick from a "clear liquids" diet menu and got some chicken broth. My surgeon and her resident stopped by again to say how well the surgery went, and to explain my post-op medications and all that. There were a few fiascos getting the medication (the hospital didn't have liquid oxycodone so they filled a pill version.. but hello?! so we had to wait for a different prescription to come over for the demerol.

Post op meds:

Hydroxyzine (Atarax) for nausea
Demerol for pain
Liquid motrin/ tylenol for pain

Peridex rinse
xephalexin (Keflex) for anti-biotic.

Okay, I'm completely worn out from all the typing. Naptime :) That's about all I can remember.

the good and the bad - early day 3

2009-07-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

I have to say that this surgery (so far) has been easier than expected. I have the normal goods and bads...

Goods:

I slept for almost 4 hours in a row last night in my comfy chair. This is so far superior to that awful hospital bed propped up with pillows.
My throat is feeling a little better this morning.

I am feeling less "out of it" than I was yesterday

My pain is being controlled by motrin!

I have not thrown up, or even FELT like throwing up yet! Hurray, doctors :)

Bads:

Breathing is not as easy as I would like it to be. This is a new development as my swelling has taken (yet another, hopefully the last?) turn for the worst - my left side is much more swollen than my right, and it's kind of pushing over my nasal passage on that side. I don't feel like I'm choking or anything, just don't quite feel comfortable and don't quite feel like I'm getting enough air. But don't worry, Kate... my lips aren't blue :)

This swelling is hardcore uncomfortable! I kind of feel like my face is made of silly putty that's been stretched a little too far.

I'm hungry (duh). Now that I'm off of the clear-liquid stuff I drank a nice glass of muscle milk and it actually took the edge off, but I'm still hungry!
Eating takes WAY too much energy. Before I can actually stave off any hunger, I'm too worn out to continue eating. Blegh!

I really can't stand the taste of the pain meds - they're all so cloying I feel like I'm choking every time I take them. I found that the infant motrin you only have to take 7.5ml of it to get the 500 mg they want, instead of the 30ml in the kid's motrin - I'm sure it will cost more, but at this point I'm not sure I care.

So, it's not too bad. Had a really rough go of it last night around 10ish because Nick and I accidently got my pain meds (demerol) mixed up with my anti-nausea medication... so instead of taking a normal (5ml) dose of pain meds, I took a not-even half dose of my anti-nausea medication (which is supposed to be 12.5ml). Oops! Woke up in CONSIDERABLE pain, but I took tylenol at the same time.

Instead of making this a mile-long post, I'll post another post on my hospital day :)

Day 3 pictures:

I'm home! (Day 2)

2009-07-02T17:42:00.001-07:00

I'll post more about yesterday later tonight or tomorrow sometime (I'm feeling a bit spaced out), but right now I'm feeling pretty good. The only complaints I have are the hip from the bone graft (ow!) and my throat is really, really sore.

I'm pretty positive that my lefort (upper jaw) was only a 1-piece because I don't have a splint (though, it's SO WEIRD to feel the roof of my mouth with my mostly-numb tongue without feeling ANYTHING on the roof-of-the-mouth side). I did have the genioplasty (if you look in that picture of me right after surgery, there's a funny sign that my surgeon wrote "do not touch chin"... cracked me up. I also had the lower jaw surgery - and everything went much quicker than expected - no problems at all. I'm banded really tightly shut, but only in the front so I can squirt food in the sides.

I'm home, loving the ice, dozing off a lot, and watching my face morph into something truly amazing - the bruising is already getting dark and I am SWOLLEN! Can't wait to show you guys pictures.

Thanks for all the support. Love you guys!

Day 2 pics:

Pictures

2009-07-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of Steph after her surgery and after the half marathon on Saturday. Two GREAT accomplishments! (Though technically, it was her doctor who did the surgery but Stephanie has to deal with the aftermath. =))

Update from Steph via Heidi!

2009-07-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

The surgery went well and lasted only three hours. She unfortunetly had to get a hip graft which is (at the moment) the most painful aspect. She's not quite sure where the graft went. And worst of all, she will not be running any half marathons with me anytime soon! She had her upper jaw, lower jaw and chin all done. Best of all, she's feeling pretty good! Mainly because she's quite numb. Hopefully, that will continue as she gets home and the happy drugs wear off. =)

I'll post some pictures when I get home and have my camera cord.

off to the hospital...

2009-07-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well, my bags are packed, I'm ready to go... I'm standing here, outside your door... I hate to wake you up to say goodbye....

I'm leaving (in a car, not a jetplane)! :) Still not nervous, but Nick is betting it hits when we hit the parking lot. Here are some "before" pictures from last night before I went to bed:

And...Pre-surgery photos: Surgical Hooks and teeth pictures

See you on the other side!